Math! Suck trailer, you guys:
It was only a matter of time before Hollywood tried to capitalize on the current vampire craze by trying to branch out into Emerging Vampire Markets. “We have got to reach the kids who want to like vampires, but are also into this cool new music called grunge.” That is just a typical Hollywood fat cat making his pitch. Of course, what Hollywood doesn’t realize is that some of us just GENUINELY DON’T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT VAMPIRES. We are in a select group of people called “adults.” It is not that we would like vampires if only their story was told against a backdrop of things that we were into, like Passion Pit, and dinner parties. It is just that at a certain point you realize that make believe paranormal metaphors for sexual anxiety and morbid obsession aren’t going to pay the gas bill. And you need to pay the gas bill, because if you don’t it will mess up your credit!
That being said, hats off to Hollywood for making a vampire movie with actual vampires in it. Iggy Pop, of course, was “turned” during a party to celebrate the signing of the Declaration of Independence. And a very happy 407th birthday to Alice Cooper.