Featuring Kellan Lutz (Twilight) and Mechad Brooks (True Blood), for anyone who wants to be half-vampire half-A**HOLE:

Gross, Eggs. Gross, Emmett Cullen. Gross, other dudes. Gross, anyone who buys this underwear. “Calvin Klein X: Wear It Under Your Jumpsuit on the Bus to Jail.” (Via Vulture.)

Comments (81)
  1. Goddammit, I wanna punch so many people right now.

  2. I wanna fXXXin pee an X in some fXXXin snow right now and there ain’t no FxxxIN SNOW!!!

  3. TO BE FAIR, those men have really good bodies. I’m just being fair here.

  4. Is it wrong that when the last guy says the last thing, I imagine him talking to Oliver Twist?

  5. OMBeepingG Shut the beep up!

  6. Just a word of advice: Don’t let any of those dudes sit on your couch. They are all very greasy. They will definitely leave a stain.

  7. So are you taking over Bill’s No-Spin zone (now that the feud is over he can retire now, right?)? Will you call it the no-fly zone?

  8. I’m no expert on reading past these red x’s and beep noises, but it almost seems like Emmett and Eggs are asking if we want to see their shit, which takes this commercial to nightmare places.

  9. Shiny, chicken fat abs!

  10. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  11. I wanna see this same commercial, but featuring only Kevin Smith.

  12. Who would buy this underwear? Men go years without buying new underwear. So it is either women buying for men or gay men buying it for themselves. Plus, I wouldn’t want to wear underwear that looks like something a weird European would wear to the public pool.

    • Shouldn’t the “I’ll show you my dick if you show me yours” tell you exactly who they’re trying to appeal to?

    • I’m pretty sure, somewhere, I read that far more women buy men’s underwear (for their men – ugh.) than men buy their own underwear? so, hence the gay/lady appeal of men’s underwear ads – with the exception of anything starring michael jordan.

  13. You wanna see my s***? Don’t worry, I always leave some poop in my Calvins.

  14. Is this a Calvin Klein commercial or Lil Wayne’s grammy performance?

  15. Is there an unedited version of this?

  16. Speaking as a lady who while usually attracted to gentlemen finds that shiny, super-exercised, super-dehydrated, super-sculpted dude-physique totally Xing repulsive, this commercial makes my lady-thighs slam shut. Get away from me with your pervy veiny torsos, you creeps.

    • Extreme vanity (to the degree suggested by these dudes’ muscularity and greasiness) is ALWAYS a turn off, in males or females. You don’t have to pretend like looks–your own or other people’s–don’t matter to you; but if you spend that much of your day/life perfecting your physical form, I can’t see how you could have enough time for more interesting stuff.

      • That is most definitely part of the mega-barf turn-off.

        • I have never been attracted to the sinewy muscular v-torsoed type. I wonder if that’s why. I like a big sturdy guy, masculine looking, but to me–the above is NOT masculine. It’s something else, not found in nature.

      • Agreed. There’s a definite, clearly drawn line between caring about your health (and to a certain extent, your appearance) and the rampant narcissism that comes from always wanting to look better. To me, this commercial embodies everything I hate about self-obsessed, glamour-muscle gym rats. It’s The Situation at a club minus irony, humor, or schadenfreude.

        Granted, it’s a model’s job to look as “good” as possible, but that’ a chicken/egg situation.

    • Could not agree more.
      Also, HIDEOUS underwear, such a turn-off. Theres nothing wrong with a man taking pride in his appearance but they scream vanity and arrogance, UGH

  17. Why are they so mad at me?

  18. So when they say mark your spot, are they encouraging men to like, pee on a fire hydrant or their favorite tree? Those underwear are gross. Men’s Calvin Klein underwear is on par with Ed Hardy t-shirts.

  19. Yuck. I just hope they don’t make a lady version of this, because I don’t want to have to stop buying Calvin Klein’s super comfortable Xing tights.

  20. “I’ll show you my d*ck if you show me yours.” –Egg’s tombstone.

  21. Also this commercial would be so much better (and accurate) if they were saying “Want me to XXing rape you? Cos I XXing will, I’m clearly the kind of dude who would XX a girl against her will.”

  22. They probably drive Dodge Chargers.

  23. Yuckygum.

  24. This was the comedy of the year for me. I laughed my fxxking head off

  25. Doughyphysicgum

  26. Abundance of Crisco

  27. Embarrassing…

  28. I’m glad to see the Ying Yang Twins have begun their commercial-writing career.

  29. Do I want to see their what?
    I never heard what they were asking.

  30. This is the way fights start at frat parties.

  31. Too veiny for me

  32. right now i am in the back of a lecture hall learning about the difference between rabbinical judaism and biblical judaism. this renders it impossible for me to hear this video. from my point of view this video is a+.

  33. I can’t get past :17 and now I feel like I need a bleach bath and PTSD counselling. ick.

  34. ugh, i used to like verdasco. rafa would never agree to this shit.

  35. This the Bobby Bottleservice audition, yes?

  36. We should all spend more time watching high-quality commercials. Like this one for a strip club in Van Nuys: http://bit.ly/cTphJO

    Now that’s quality.

  37. Because nothing says mature adult mature man like marking your dick. Since when has machismo become things you do when you’re 8? Oh right, since ever.

  38. Is this a real ad? Or is this a video The Lonely Island made as a sequal to the Bing Bong Brothers’ song?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4iiyRv_NrQ

  39. Also, I see that Gwyneth Paltrow has shared her shiny-legs secret with the people at Calvin Klein. I guess her Miracle Leg Shine is now for torsos too.

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