“Oh baby, you know what it’s like! It’s part of the job, and my job is one of the reasons you were attracted to me in the first place. What? I’m not saying that! I’m not saying that, you know I’m not saying that. But you can’t sit there and tell me that you don’t enjoy the kind of lifestyle we lead. Well that’s all I was saying. There are perks that come along with being a celebrity and the host of a popular television show, and those are perks I’m happy to share with you, hell, that I wouldn’t want to share with anyone else. But so you can’t get upset when my job requires me to practically rape someone, verbally. It’s just showbiz, sweet thing! You know, if anything, it’s to get the contestant and myself properly framed in camera to make sure that viewers at home can enjoy the show, and to keep things moving smoothly, and sure, OK, I put a little of the Barker shine on there, I give it a little Bo Bar goose, a little Bobby B English. You can’t hate me for that. What? When do I say that to you? Well, did you ever think that when I said it to you it was because I really wanted you to stand a little closer to me, because I love and respect you? Oh so now you know everything about how to frame a two-shot for a TV show I guess, huh? Well give me back my handcuffs before you leave if that’s how you’re going to be. And I need that set of lawn furniture back, too, it’s a package deal, sweetheart. That’s right. Well fuck you, too, little girl.”

(Video via Via FourFour, quote via your boyfriend, Bob Barker, who you date for real.)

Comments (26)
  1. “Who will believe I would harass anyone? It’s not like there’s any videotape.”

  2. You will pay a lot for this Bob, and the cost is gonna be prohibitive.

  3. Now remember ladies, if at any point you grow tired of my sexual advances, simply shout: “That’s too Much!”

  4. Help control the human population have Bob Barker spayed or neutered, than sprayed with water and told he’s a bad boy no treats

  5. “She’s not just a pretty face, she’s got brains in there too!”

    My boyfriend always was a flatterer.

  6. Best never do a Richard Dawson megamix then, because you’d never get the slime off your monitor.

  7. spay and neuter your creepy gameshow hosts.

    too easy?

  8. Tiki, tiki, tiki means getting fingered on or in whatever prize you get. My boyfriend is at least spontaneous.

  9. I may get downvoted for being close to as chauvinistic as Bob here….but I think it needs to be mentioned that 70′s girls are super attractive.

  10. He sounds like a pretty little rapist.

  11. And Drew Carey is your creepy and awkward neighbor.

  12. The Wheel of Fortune bus is coming to my town this weekend. Naturally, I am going. Here is my fantasy of how this goes down. When the smoke clears:
    I wow the Wheel producers, who immediately whisk me off to Hollywood for their next taping. On the show, I refuse to refer to Pat Sajak as anything other than “Pat Sajak.” He’ll be all, “Let’s welcome My Name to the show,” and I’ll be all, “Thank you, Pat Sajak.” I will laugh at his terrible jokes, and I will say, “You’re a card, Pat Sajack.” I will win $23,400 up front, and then clean up 50K in the bonus round.
    The next day, I will go to a taping of the Price is Right. Since I won’t be part of a family reunion or a sorority group, I am considering going to an Army/Navy store and picking up some kind of military uniform. I know it’s highly unethical (and possibly illegal) to impersonate a service person, but that is the only way I will get on stage. I’m rolling the dice here.
    I get called up, and I bid closest to the actual retail price without going over on a Navajo sofa. I high five everybody on the line with me, except for the 93 year old woman, who I kiss on the cheek. I run up on stage for my pricing game, and…
    Son of a bitch, it’s Drew Carey. End fantasy.

  13. 20 years of footage sloppily edited together and that’s the best you can do? For shame Videogum and wontholdmedown1. You should be so lucky as to have a boyfriend like Bob Barker. The only creep here is the one looking back at you in the mirror and going out on every limb to try and bring down great men with their 21st century “understanding” of what is proper conduct between a game show host and a contestant.

    Pretty girl?!! PRETTY GIRL???!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU SIR!!
    Let us polish our guillotine blades tonight with a fresh batch of blood from this chauvinist pig.

    Good goddess what has the world come to.

    • But….but…..”ticky ticky ticky!”

      Heebie jeebies successfully induced.

      • There were certainly some creepy parts, but I have to agree with The N. Not nearly as creepy as it’s made out to be. Take virtually any heavily edited footage from TV 30+ years ago, put it in today cultural context and you can make plenty of videos that seem strange to us. Not to denigrate what Fourfour did (it’s funny) or that Barker doesn’t deserve it, but most of these clips seem rather harmless.

    • We also need to give Bob a break here and consider the Price demographic of today…perhaps he knew what was coming and decided to enjoy the attractive times while he could

  14. its weird how bob barker was always hitting on your mom

  15. He can touch me if the price is right.

  16. clever girls.

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