Joe Mande takes a look at how last night’s Snorescars would have been distributed if they had been awarded in 2001. THIS SHOULD WIN AN AWARD.
If Iron Man 2 occurred 10 years ago, Tony stark would be a book editor who was hooking up with a tranny (Wonder Boys) and Whiplash would be a mob boss who has his sights set on Sylvester Stallone (Get Carter).
This would, incidentally, make Iron Man 2 even better.
and Pepper Potts would sing Smokey Robinson songs with Huey Lewis
This is great. 2010: “The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant”
2001: “We’re Doing Fucking Great!”
But if Mo’Nique would have won for Baby Boy would we have ever been gifted the cinematic masterpiece Phat Girlz?
Tomorrow’s Oscar wins come from actors who choose terrible movies Today. And the winners of Yesterday… well…
Denzel W, Jennifer Connely, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, and Ron Howard all were notably absent. You gotta leave some of the awards for everybody else, after all.
Keep resting on your laurels, avoid those bed sores.
Also in 2001: Jennifer Lopez presents an award.
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