Lil Wayne is finally being sentenced to jail today on gun charges. Fair enough. It’s like Sun Tzu said in The Art of War: live by the sword, go to jail for having an unregistered handsword in your tour bus. Weezy is expected to spend a year behind bars, which will give him plenty of time to think about what exactly he’s trying to do with his Twitter feed. Are we really supposed to believe that the only thing Lil Wayne ever thinks about is love? What is he, a bathroom book of platitudes? Just think about it, Lil Wayne, that’s all I’m saying. It will also give him plenty of time to make his own Prison Codeine, which I believe involves putting a potato in a sock inside of a toilet? Not sure where he’s going to get a bottle of Jones Soda for his mixer, though. (FACT: Lil Wayne loves Jones Soda.)

Anyway, Lil Wayne, facing a year in prison for weapons charges did what anyone would do: he made a music video featuring Eminem, terrible green screen effects, and a ruthless gang of skateboarders:

This is just like that movie 25th Hour in which Edward Norton played a man facing a prison term trying to come to terms with how many music videos he was going to make in his final hours. Good luck, Lil Wayne! We will be waiting for you right here when you get out.

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Comments (20)
  1. From the looks of things, the world isn’t the only thing that was dropped on its head.

  2. He would have gotten off easier if he hadn’t painted those teardrops on his face, because the worst kind of clown is a sad clown.

  3. How many kids do you think are going to try to get arrested now so that they can hang out with Weezy?

  4. A bit off topic, but am I remembering correctly that in The Carter, Wayne said about his codeine cup, “My cup is my cup”? A la Marlo’s “My name is my name”? I just keep thinking about that today. “My cup is my cup!”

  5. Getting the music video done now is probably a good idea. I mean, they don’t have green screens in prison, do they? Did you even think about that, Gabe?

  6. I am just really glad to see that Eminem is back (again).

  7. I wonder how I will explain Lil Wayne’s music to my future grand kids.

    • “What are you listening to, rap? Old Man. All we listen to is Robot Future Music, you wouldn’t understand”

    • Well kids, he was not like you, he was a martian. Some, even Carl Thomas, would say that he was hotter than summer rain. He was often locked, loaded, and ready to aim at any target. I remember once he told me that he could get my brains for a bargain, like he bought it from Target. Back in my day Target was only a supermarket and not the educational epicenter of New-China. Anyway….what was I saying……..i guess the moral is “If you feel like you’re the best go head and do the weezy wee and phone home”

  8. I love Weezy’s Twitter. I used to think he was a weed smoking, syrup drinking lyrical genius. Turns out he is really one of those weird Christian hippie types I used to see at jam band shows. With a lot of ellipses.

  9. Here’s his next rap song:

    Yo, my name is Lil Wayne / And I’m here to say
    I hope you have a jail-a-rific day / A rip-rap-ritty-roo

  10. Lil Wayne is literally the worst! #unpopulartruths

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