Admittedly, I’m not the target audience for the Academy Awards. I mean, I love to participate in national traditions as much as anyone, and I watch the Oscars every year if for no other reason than that I like to know what everyone’s talking about. But I don’t really care about the adult equivalent of Prom Fashion, and I have little enthusiasm for an awards system that is outwardly and admittedly about politics and seniority and commerce as much as it is about talent or art or accomplishment. But, was it just me, or was this year’s Academy Awards especially dull? Like, there were zero surprises or upsets. Everyone who was supposed to win, won, with a Taylor Swiftian surprise on their face. And then there was the ceremony itself, which literally had flat screen TVs playing images of diamonds? Because that is how you know something is fancy and glamorous? And Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin are great performers and comedians, two legendary entertainers, but what was that, guys? Did they refuse to let you talk about the show beforehand? Because if they refused to let you talk about the show beforehand, then that makes sense. They should have let you talk about the show beforehand! Even the Oscar’s tribute to horror movies included footage from such classic horror movies as Edward Scissorhands and the Sixth Sense. Huh? I guess I am happy for Christopher Waltz and Kathryn Bigelow, who was the first woman to win for Best Director. But it’s weird that what will forever be remembered as an historic Oscars felt so entirely forgettable from beginning to end.

Boo, 2010 Academy Awards. A rare miss. (Not that rare of a miss.)

Comments (61)
  1. I think I can speak for everyone when I say I’m so happy that Sandra Bullock finally stuck it to James Cameron. Go Sandy!

  2. Is that lady with Jon Cryer the same one who tried to MURDER HIM????

  3. Now that the Academy is handing out “it’s his/her time” Oscars to people like Sandra Bullock for making a lifetime of cheesy, forgettable rom-coms, how long will it be before Matt Lillard is finally recognized for his impressive body of work?

    • I was JUST SAYING that now that Fisher Stevens has an Oscar and since Angelina Jolie has had one for years the rest of the cast of Hackers needs to step it up.

    • I thought Sandra Bullock was good in that one movie about the bus. I can’t recall the name at the moment, but you know what I’m talking about – the bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty, and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called “The Bus That Couldn’t Slow Down.”

  4. Congrats Christopher Waltz!

    • Bonus WTF Chris Waltz gif:

      • Okay, I found the source for this gif, and it’s a pretty funny spoof on the Trololololol video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUbGcRJUDu0

        • This made my day.

        • Yes, he did that on Kimmel last night. Kimmel really brought it, last night.

          • Imagine how long it would take Leno to A) even become aware of the Trolololo video, B) take a meeting with Team Leno and NBC to discuss whether it was reasonable material for comedy, C) bring in a highly relevant celebrity to become involved in spoofing it, possibly Bruce Willis (Cop Out hits stores this Tuesday on DVD!), and D) introduce it with a lot of specific setup, possibly even showing you a clip of the original and then saying “Ehhh, we decided, that was great for Soviet Russia, but Modern Day — we’re in Modern Times, right, Kevin? / If you say so, Jay — but for Modern Day we decided we better update it, maybe involving a ukelele, so without further ado, here’s our good friend, Bruce Willis!” Or Ashton, if they decided to target the kids with this one. Maybe let’s target the kids, with this one.

      • 1) that gif is the best thing ever.
        2) minor correction- There is no -er in his name. Christoph.

        To emphasize the spelling I think we should from now on refer to him as Toph Waltz, as in Hey, What’s Up WIth Toph Waltz?

  5. But someone got “Kanye-d”! That’s a thing now!

  6. At the VMA’s you get Brittany and Madonna. At the Oscars (read CLASS ACT) you get Meryl and Sandy laughing under their breaths. The distinction is everything (the distinction isn’t anything).

  7. Conversation between the married Jonas Brother and his wife:

    Wife: OMFG! I can’t believe I’m going to the Oscars! I need a dress!

    Jonas Brother: Yeahhh…about that. I’m going to be going with my brothers. You understand right?

    Wife: ARE YOU KIDDING ME! GROW UP! THE WHOLE BROTHER THING IS SUPER CREEPY!

    Jonas Brother: Ha! Sure! Don’t wait up, babe. We’re going to ride around town taking turns sticking our heads out of a limo with Justin Beiber and Miley Cyrus.

  8. What I’m wondering is:

    How can you have Sigourney Weaver specifically talk about Alien AND a (shitty, don’t get me started) horror tribute and not even mention the fact that Dan O’Bannon died this year?

    Come on, ya’ll! Return of the Living Dead! Pinback!

    /indignant horror nerd rant over…..for now.

    • To add to your indignant horror movie nerd rant…

      How can they have have a horror movie tribute introduced by the Twilight cast when ROGER CORMAN is sitting there in the front row?

      • and…AND!!! How could they have said that the last horror film honored at the Oscars was The Exorcist when, hello, Silence of the Lambs?

        I guess the rationale was,
        when it’s a part of a shitty montage=horror movie
        when it’s winning the four major academy awards=suspense thriller

        • Exactly. They’ve always tried to label Silence of the Lambs as suspense/thriller, but when a movie includes a serial killer that kills women and uses their skin to make a suit for himself to wear, that sounds like a horror movie to me.

      • Not to mention how they actually showed a clip FROM TWILIGHT in the HORROR TRIBUTE! I mean, sure it was a horrific movie, but it was not a horror movie.

  9. That was an ordeal. This guy knows

  10. I think the target audience of the Oscars is the front row at the Oscars.

  11. Maybe if that one ceremonial cauldron hadn’t failed to deploy, the Oscar torch would’ve shined brightly this year…

  12. I was sincerely happy/excited for the Kathryn Bigelow double win. I even applauded (yes, pathetic).

  13. UPSETS: White Ribbon didn’t get best foreign language film and El Duderino nabbed best actor.

  14. My favorite part was when Streisand goes “The time has come.” but the “time” could have been one of two things and then the camera goes tight on Lee Daniels being deflated as he loses a would be historic Academy Award to another historic Academy Award. Streisand is the best/worst.

  15. Loni Love and the Chelsea Handler panel was soo drunk on the E! after Oscars round table. They were just vicious (awesome). It was the only thing I will remember (no I won’t) from this years show.

  16. Hey guys, I think we all need to talk about the fact that almost every person who was ever in a John Hughes film is now a colossal failure. Even you, Jon Cryer.

    • And why is Gabe’s tag on the picture so creepy?

    • John Hughes is the ultimate argument for great directors. You can take a Judd “I still think I’m in New Jack City” Nelson and make him resonate onscreen as a real human being. I think that’s the best tribute ever. Though I really couldn’t handle the Molly Ringwald demented Cleopatra thing.

  17. Always
    Be
    Cutting to Kathy Bates

  18. This post is a good segue for a new WMOAT….please?

  19. Can we talk about SNL now?

  20. I’m still texting DOLPHIN to 44144, and I’ve yet to get a single reply from that old man…

  21. Let’s all take comfort in the fact that illustrious films like “Soul Plane” and “Miss Congeniality 2″ can now say “starring Academy Award-winning actress (x) !”

    Also, nice to see Oprah talking about Gabourey Sidibe because Oprah is now the president of black people I guess?

  22. No, they were utterly terrible. But for me, the worst part was the fact that the producers cut off nearly every acceptance speech that wasn’t being said by an A-list actor. Every single “little person” that won only got 45 seconds or whatever their limit was and then they shut off the mic, but all the big important celebrities got to talk for as long as they wanted, which I think blows. Dear Oscars, if you really want to cut down on the length, remove all the pointless montages, don’t cut off people’s acceptance speeches.

  23. Does anyone actually know who that lady was when Music For Prudence won?

  24. I want to stick my braid in your dragon.

  25. Big congrats to Kathryn Bigelow & The Hurt Locker. This is truly a monumentous achievement in herstory (did you see what I did there?).

  26. Can we all agree that Ben Stiller as the fourth blue man was embarrassing?

  27. Sean Penn made me so uncomfortable!

  28. Hey, remember that time Sandra Bullock won an Oscar? That was weird.

    • Yeah, my thought was “Now we will have to watch previews that say ‘Oscar winner Sandra Bullock stars as a sassy optometrist who can’t find love…’”

  29. My favorite moment was when Precious won best adapted screenplay and the Oscars producers cut to literally every single black person in the audience for a reaction shot. Good decision making, team! Y

    • SO MANY BLACK PEOPLE REACTION SHOTS. When Precious won adapted screenplay why did they cut to Morgan Freeman?

      Also, how has no one brought up Clooney’s reaction shots throughout the night? I think Clooney is one of the few big celebrities who appears to hate the whole thing as much as the rest of us do. Dude and his old-man mullet were NOT HAVING IT.

    • Seriously, who was running the reaction shots? Shot of Sam Jackson. Shot of Morgan Freeman. Shot of Precious cast and crew… “Damn it, find me more black people!”

    • Yes! Arg, that was like, my number one complaint of the night.

  30. I so want to punch that one Jonas Bros. You know who I’m talking about…that one in the middle.

  31. Petition for Galifinakas Oscar host next year?

  32. Best part of the WHOLE night: The dude who won the foreign language oscar (btw, A Prophet got ROBBED) thanks the academy for not considering Na’vi as a foreign language. ONE ZING PLEASE!! The funny part was that no one laughed.

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