As we all know, the Internet hates Jay Leno, because the Internet is primarily for young people, and Jay Leno is exclusively for dying people. Duh Aficionado Magazine, true to its journalistic mission, is staying on top of this breaking, painfully obvious story. Today, their team of expert but apparently very lazy journalists has found this trend continuing in the tags on the official Tonight Show with Jay Leno Hulu page. Click to enlarge:

Haha. Got him! You know, I feel like the common wisdom at the tail end of “the late night wars” was that people would lose interest in the whole thing, as they often do with drawn out feuds, and that is most certainly still true in the grand scheme of things, because “the late night wars” didn’t CHANGE THE COURSE OF HUMAN BEHAVIOR, but it would be great if the Internet forever remained an aggressively hostile place for Jay Leno. Just don’t come around here, Jay. This is our town. And you might want to e-park your iCars somewhere else. It would be a shame for something to hacken to them. (Sorry.) (Thanks for the tip, Jake and Jeff.)

Comments (94)
  1. I want to see all those tags compiled into sentences in one huge biographical paragraph of Jay Fucko.

    • Judas, the terrible, horrible, unfunny piece of$hit jerk, was a failure in the truest sense of the word fail. He, the craptastic backstabber, Benedict Arnold, if you will, made safe jokes for old people. The old, Matlockish set that was really anti-comedy, the folks that say “I am old and tired and want my Jaywalking” must not see tv folks. There were the Team Conanites though. Who set forth calls of I’m With Coco and We Miss Conan and f u c k l e n o . It was awful, since the late night had been soldout to a no class dirtbag sellout betrayer. Horrible Craptastic Monologues.
      We Will Not Watch Oprah’s Biatch!

    • Jay Leno is a terrible, unfunny, unwatchable television host who seemed washed up in 2009, but somehow came back to life and ruined television once again like the horrible, no class jerk that he is. Most recently, he took back The Tonight Show from Conan O’Brian and turned it into “must not see tv“. The set on his reclaimed show is a complete pieceof$hit, and the classless “jokes” he made with Sarah Palin about how the media was out to get him were a significant sting to Conan fans. What a dirtbag.

      The most depressing thing is how he jerked teamconan (Conan’s staff/crew/fans) around by claiming victimization along with Jeff Zucker. Because he is an untalented cry baby, his douchebaggery seems to go unnoticed by other untalented cry babys. Any self respecting celebrity would definitely not side with this washed up hack, but instead they would proudly wear the “imwithcoco” badge, and never appear on The Tonight Show again.

      Point being, Jay Leno is bad, has a humorless chin, is old, makes turdsandwiches for breakfast, is unfortunately immune to iocane powder, is a joke stealer, has sad fashion sense, owns 63 wheretheflucki… priceless classic cars, should be put in a retirement hom…, fails to garner any sympathy at all, is vehemently anti-comedy, his sense of humor died in a fire, is responsible for this failure in the… television industry, is a hack, is a sellout, wishes he was as classy as turd ferguson, is no good, wears stupid denim shirts, is a betrayer, is bland, gets people to vow that they will not watch his show without even trying, has a comically bigjaw, is oprah’sbiatch, doesn’t care that we miss conan; so don’t watch this because f u c k l e n o, and that rapist of NBC late night, Jeff Zucker. They are awful, backstabbers that pulled a complete bullshit move that will forever give the banality of evil a questionable victory over good.

      In closing, Jay Leno tells safe jokes for… the elderly, is a scab, is a benedict arnold, eats circlecircleci…(?), is craptastic, uses his matlockish senility to burn late night establishments to the ground, spits in the face of comedy, tells me that i am old and t… (but he’s the old one!), doesn’t say “i’m with coco“, is a judas, is a leno sucks dick, and ruins celebrities careers. i want coco

  2. @JayLeno

  3. Coming in at a respectable 58th on the list is “comedy.” It seems like Leno is really working his way back into America’s hearts.

  4. Jay Leno kicks red-haired puppies. Never forget.

  5. That’s awesome…

    Although it makes me a little sad to know that he’ll never read or hear about any of this. “Hey, Maude, what is this interweb everyone keeps talking about?”

  6. For some reason, I loved Matlock when I was 11, so I think it’s unfair to Matlock to have Jay be described as “Matlockish.” Besides, Matlock solved crimes, while Jay kills souls with his chinny unhumor.

  7. Where’s “Patriot”, “American Hero”, and “Photoshopped Lapel Pin Champion of the USA”?

  8. Jay Leno being the last thing people see as they lie motionless in a hospice facility, peeing their pants and trying to get the button for the morphine drip to push down a little bit harder makes me think that heaven is going to be an angry, hateful place.

  9. I like how “jaywalking” still managed to slip in there at the end. Way to go, Jay Leno’s Writing Staff. At least you’ve got one bit that people associate with your show almost as much as the term “Matlockish.”

  10. Never forget.
    -The Internet

  11. I like anti-comedy. #anti-comedy Jay Leno Tonight Show

  12. So, i’m hate-poking around Jaylenosgarage, right? Just looking at the all-you-can-hate buffet that is this terrible site when i look up see the tab for “games”. Which is alarming. Because i like games!!! Games r fun! I like fun games! Does that mean i have to like Jaylenosgarage?
    Then i click on it and a shitty little window pops up that says “coming soon” and i laugh and laugh and laugh and fuck you, Jay Leno.

  13. Yesterday, I found the first Jay Leno fan on the internet. An old high school classmate of mine had the status “thank god the tonight show is back to the way it should be”. So, there, people. He has fans on the internet. And in their twenties too!

    In an unrelated note, my classmate was a huge fucking dick and I’ve hated his guts for years.

    • I have had similar experiences with associates on Twitter. I would send them an “unfollow” message, if I was eight years old. But yes, they too are the sort who put the “ass” in “associates” (sorry).

  14. Matlock is calm and gentlemanly. (I watched it too when I was younger)

    I don’t know if Jay is really a jerk, but there isn’t much to recommend him.

  15. My favorite is “humorless chin”. That Conan, his chin was hilarious.

  16. Matlockish is going into my daily vernacular. Thanks internet!

  17. You should compile one entire month’s worth of Duh Aficionado posts and put out an actual hard copy of the magazine. Maybe just once as a special bonus. I’d buy one.

  18. I am very confused by/laughed a lot at “rapelike”. Yes, The Tonight Show is like getting raped, I guess?

  19. I was trying for far too long to figure out what the phrase “fuckle no” meant. “fuck no,” sure. but who coined the word “fuckle?” Fuckle no. Hmmm…I kinda like it.

  20. I initially read the “f u c k l e n o” in the list as “fuckle no” — made-up words register in my brain before Leno’s name (in a post about Jay Leno, no less)! Strong work, my brain!

  21. The Internet has clearly forgotten “smellsofmothballs,” though.

  22. Here’s an actual post from the messageboard:

    This just in Hot off of E Canada Press Leno viewers for the Tonight Show 6.6 million, Letterman 3.8 million
    Well how about that we still live in a age where Nice guys with talent can still finish First. Thank Goodness.
    Sorry to get off topic, I never owned a beesa but always respected them, and the Nortons.

  23. Turd sandwich is my fav.

  24. Someone added “Gabe’s fave”? Good job, guys! You’re really Videogumming it Everywhere today.

  25. There’s not enough air-brushing in the world to make Jay Leno attractive.

  26. So many band names to choose from.

  27. I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but the Late Night Wars will be fought with metatags.

  28. Fun facts you guys with google!
    -There are 158,000 results for “Jay Leno Pathetic”
    -585,000 results for ” Jay Leno Terrible”
    -698,000 for “Jay Leno Racist”
    -1,200,000 for “Kathy Griffin Jay Leno ugly”(huh?)
    -73,600 for “Jay Leno Homophobic”
    -And finally, 91,200,000 results for “Conan O’Brien better Than Jay Leno”/

  29. Leno fans congregate on 4Chin.

  30. “Check or add the tags most appropriate for this show.” Yup, those just about sums up the show.

  31. Anyone can take “washed up hack”, “worst person to ever live”, “id rather eat poo”… but “gabe’s fave” that’s just a little bit too much!

  32. i am in love with this post and all these comments and all you monsters. i’m going to sign up for a hulu account right now just to check these tags off.

  33. HAHAHA… Jaywalking… HAHAHAHAHA!

  34. I added “Ke$ha like”.

  35. i added a vote to ‘gabes favorite’

  36. for the record I did not add this tag:

    I’ve been punk’d. Boo-urns.

  37. The people have spoken

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