Photos
Hollywood, known for its thoughtful decisions and its elevation of art above commerce, has decided to move ahead with a third entry in the Big Momma’s House saga. Good call, guys. Very brave. From Variety (via FilmDrunk):
Martin Lawrence is returning to his signature comedy franchise ‘Big Momma’s House,” and will be joined by Brandon T. Jackson. In the latest adventure, FBI Agent Malcolm Turner and his 17-year-old nephew, Trent, go undercover at an all-girls performing arts school after Trent witnesses a murder. Posing as Big Momma and Charmaine, they must find the murderer before he finds them.”
That is a gripping plot for what I am sure will be a movie that is equally as exciting as it is funny. The line at your local Fandango is probably already around the block (“OPEN! OPEN! OPEN!”). Since a movie poster doesn’t exist for this movie yet, I made one myself, because that is how the Internet works. It’s called a flash mob, and it’s huge right now. My poster for Big Momma’s House 3 after the jump.
I think what I like best about my poster is how much it looks like a real movie poster you would see at a normal movie theater. If anything, it’s TOO much like all the other movie posters you see all the time.
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That’s your ‘enhance’ button.
Oh, speaking of
!I’m usually all for a good “enhance”, butt this is just ridiculous.
Thank goodness. Because there were so many questions left unanswered at the end of Big Momma’s House 2.
There were tons of loose ends, like what happens if Big Momma ended up on a top secret mission to Pandora?
I wonder if in the plot, Trent comes up with his cover name in or around a bathroom.
Not funny Gabe. This happens to one in three women when they laugh.
By the way, after “Not funny Gabe” it’s supposed to say “Yes funny, but insensitive to make fun of serious medical conditions” but I accidentally used cloaking parentheses.
Our boyfriend will definitely lots of love at this movie
Everything about this post makes me sad.:(
This movie looks Crack-a-lackin’!
Also, I just saw this:
This poster make my butt itch.
I DON’T wanna sound RACIST BECAUSE I’m not, but what IS WITH THE African-American demographic’s LOVE FOR shit like THIS AND FOR Tyler Perry? I’M GOING to just assume, I GUESS, that it’s A SIMILAR THING to us WHITIES liking fuckin JEFF Dunham (who’s NAME I had forgotten AND HAD TO just find BY GOOGLING “puppets comedian” to FIND IT. I CAN’T believe he comes UP WITH the word COMEDIAN.)
Oh geez, many LOLs on that one. The best part is I truly imagine Jeff Dunham would be offended by your use of “puppets.” He’s all, excuse me, An American Patriot, these are my marionettes, thank you very much.
I don’t wanna sound racist, but when are you going to heed your dying uncle’s advice and start being responsible with the caps lock?
WUET
I read your post above with emphasis wherever i found caps and it sounded Gilbert Gottfried doing his parrot voice from Aladdin.
Flip Wilson was a famous famous black commedian in a time where there were not many famous black commedians. He started the cultural comedic premises of a black man playing a sassy black woman by doing it and being really funny at the same time. Remember that the black commedians in question probably grew up watching and wanting to be just like Flip Wilson.
Why haven’t Martin Lawrence and Tyler Perry combined for a Marvel Team-Up-style Big Momma’s House of Payne? Just think of all the fun adventures Big Momma and Madea could together as middle-aged men in drag!
You know this is going to happen now, right? You sit there and think about what you’ve done.
***Spoiler***: Trent will be a sexist. Trent will fall in love with one of the students (like Juwannna Man, yes),
he will yearn to tell her his true identity, but he cannot. Love interest gets mad at Trent for a big misunderstanding! Trent and Bib Momma save the love interest from, like a kidnapping or something. Then they in love! Yay!
I thought your movie poster was a viable option in the realm of national cinema ad campaigns
…until the enhance button. Then I lost all faith in it.
Kinda like this guy.
Man, that is one ugly Jesus.
Is that supposed to be Jesus, or Jesus?
I was having a crap day (like, around a 4 on Silvio’s scale below), but then I saw this. I’m now at a solid 8. Thanks!
I feel worse about being alive now than I did before I clicked on this post.
Be more specific. If, for example, on a scale of 1-10 ( 10 being really stoked about being alive and 0 being suicidal) you were at an 8.. then now you’re at like 6 or 7. That’s not bad. If you get down below 3 then let us know.
Apparently Terrence Howard will NOT be co-starring in this one. At least not happily.
Nope. He was replaced by Don Cheadle at the last moment.
topical
She even changed pants (and assumedly, thong/panties) between those two photos being taken, but the flies came back. Much like the Big Momma movies themselves. You can’t keep them away.
I wonder if anyone farts in this movie.
Surprisingly, nobody does. Instead, they politely stand up, excuse themselves, and walk calmly to the bathroom, where they take care of their body business without offending anyone. They are sure to flush and, for good measure, spritz some Febreez Air Effects behind them.
Just kidding. It is Martin. And he be fartin’.
I have it on good authority that Martin is a notorious cropduster.
The only way that picture could get worse is if you imagine the flies aren’t coming from the outside…
Downvote away!
upvote away
Big momma’s house 3 is gonna make big momma’s house 1 look like big momma’s house 2.
Does that make sense?
While it’s true that Hollywood is convinced that the only comedies black people like involve middle-aged men in drag, Hollywood has a picture of a black guy in its wallet, so it’s all good.
the black guy in their wallet is also wearing a dress though so it’s the circle of life
Tyler Perry is staring into his giant fire place sipping his Louis XIII Black Pearl, and with a clenched fist snarls “he must be stopped.”
But little does he know that Eddie Murphy is in the basement of his 16th century Tudor manor plotting against them both.
I hope it has plenty of the sloppily
written, Dunham-style racist jokes that Lawrence has
used to
create a credible, and
illustrious
career out
of.
I take this as a sign that there will be a “Honky Grandma Be Trippin 2.” Can’t wait!
As an aside: I can’t believe I’m the first monster to reference “Honky Grandma Be Trippin” in response to this post.
Also, I’m almost done wiping the throw-up off my keyboard after looking at the movie poster.
Buttxploitaition?
Gabe, that picture is Sofa King gross.
Does anyone know whose butt that is? Just curious if its a famous butt or just a random internet butt. Also: If your butt attracks flies then either its covered in shit or something died in it. Either way you should probably clean it. FYI.
here is a funny joke I saw about big momma’s house 3, http://ponderingstuff.com/2010/10/03/business-sunk-costs-and-big-mamma%e2%80%99s-house-3/
This ad is exactly the type of discounted-name-brand-merchandise I was looking for in this post about Martin Lawrence and Bad Choices! Thank you!