Yo yo yo yo yo yo!

Guys who know that you can have an openly deep and meaningful emotional relationship with another man without worrying about what other people will think because the important thing is being honest with yourself and homophobia is for losers, and girls who enjoy cooking because it’s fun and delicious and creative and NOT because someone else expects you to enjoy it, we have heard some news today that is a total summer bummer and very harsh on all of our chills. Uncool Ranch! But part of being an awesome teen with a future that is as bright as he or she is willing to make it is being able to face the truth, no matter how painful.

The news is in regards to Taylor Lautner, star of both Twilight: New Moon and the torn out magazine pages taped to the inside of your locker. There is no way to sugarcoat this, and I don’t think you would respect me very much if I did. Teens can sense posers from a skate park away. It has to do with his abs, homies.

Apparently? In some of the Twilight: New Moon posters n’ stuff? His head was totally, like, Photoshopped onto the body of a different werewolf?

I’m not angry at Taylor Lautner or Stephanie Meyer or vampires, I would say I’m disappointed? Your guys’s bodies are going through a lot changes right now, and one of those changes it that it gets harder and harder to just, liiiike, trust in stuff, yk? And it’s like, what was even the point of Taylor Lautner putting on 30 pounds of lean muscle for acting in the first place? But mostly I just feel bad for you respectful guys and empowered young women who are just emerging from your cocoons into unique butterflies, you know? We should have done better by you. First we ruined the environment and now this. (Via PhotoshopDisasters.)

UPDATE: Apparently, the Taylor Lautner Photoshop is a fan-made poster. But that does not change the fact that your bodies are going through a lot of changes right now. So many changes.

Comments (60)
  1. The face of a boy and the body of a man! Waiting on the hair of a wolf.

  2. Time to return this totally unrealistic body pillow!

  3. Hooray Face-in-Hole Technology!

  4. who cares if he’s of legal age now!? Certainly not me!!

  5. i believe the guy on the right has a sideways weenis

  6. My new band is called THE TAYLOR LAUTNER AB DISASTER

  7. “Hey Taylor, thanks for spending months not eating and working out. You showed amazing dedication to your craft. But we’re just gonna use this guy’s abs for the poster. Not that yours aren’t great, it’s just — well his are better. No hard feelings? Great.”

  8. This is so depressing. I don’t even feel like rollerblading inside an empty swimming pool with my girlfriends anymore, which is what I was planning on doing today. Photoshop has ruined my day again!

  9. Curse you, my apparent inability to post the movie poster of “Takers”. At least my post still kinda made sense.

  10. Everything terrible and sad about this photoshopgate story finds its wholesome and wonderful opposite in the ray of light that is the new Teen Korner logo. I want to feed it Tequila.

  11. That would have been great!

  12. now i no wat team im on 4 shur.

  13. Clearly someone’s trying to sabotage our Taylor and I think I know who


    I’m sorry Percy Jackson is nowhere near the phenomenon Twilight is but you’re gonna have to deal with it

  14. If I was taytay I’d be pissed they didn’t include the underwear model’s junk. Hes packin.

  15. I haven’t felt so sad since the Robert Pattinson painted-on abs disaster of Y2K9. I need a fanta and the newest issue of YM or I will totally LOSE IT.

  16. Everything I know is a lie!

  17. This is ABSolutely terriblABS. :(

  18. I guess Ill do it….

    Fake and Gay

  19. I’m very glad that they gave Taylor Lautner a new tattoo because that other guy’s skin cancer tattoo is just NOT working! besides, it makes much more thematic sense to give a werewolf a tribal tattoo, and ultra low rise jeans. Stephenie Meyer knows knows all the important werewolf facts.

  20. Of all my boyfriends, I thought I could at least count on the constancy that is TL. Are we even dating anymore? I’ma need a pint of Chunky Monkey and Gilmore Girls: Season 6 to make it through tonight…

  21. …or the new video model from Crystal Swing’s new single “He Drinks Whey Protein”.

  22. Oh damn, we gots a SITUATION!

  23. The first picture is fan-made. You guys need to spend more time on ONTD.

  24. Sorry, but this post needs a…………… PAH!

  25. Taylor Lautner does not need photoshop! The only thing his abs are missing is my forehead.

  26. ahem–solely in the interest of journalism and knowledge…who’s the dude on the right?

  27. I bet this was Taylor’s call.
    He tore this picture of his fav mag then took it into his photoshopper, just i like do with my barber: “Make me look like this!”

  28. Telling me that Taylor Lautner’s abs are not Taylor Lautner’s abs for sentences and sentences, tearing me apart, then attempting to “whoops, my bad” it with some caveat at the end is the worst kind of yellow journalism. You, sir, are jealous of his thirty pounds of lean muscle mass, and will stop at nothing in your quest to tear him down. I only hope this doesn’t lead to war with Cuba again.

  29. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  30. You guys are completely ignoring the whole “War with Cuba” angle.

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