Guys And AHHHHHHHHHHs

Personally, I hate musical theater. No big deal. There are plenty of theaters in the sea, or whatever. It is just not my cup of theater, and other metaphors clumsily rewritten. Nevertheless, whenever a new musical is turned into a major motion picture, I somehow end up seeing it for some reason? Knowing full well that it is a mistake for which I will feel the human emotion of “regret.” It’s surprising how loud the pro-musical theater faction is in America, compared to how many people actually care about musical theater. I GUESS THEY JUST KNOW HOW TO PROJECT AND ALSO DIAPHRAGMS! (I am so tired right now.) But seriously, whenever a movie musical comes out, there is such a CHORUS of enthusiastic support that I get momentarily disoriented and wonder if maybe I’ve been wrong this whole time. As if somehow all the other instances of musical theater that I have seen and disliked have just been fluke goofs and I’ve yet to experience the real deal. False.

The point is: while I don’t like musical theater, but I would if musical theater was actually just people in My Little Pony costumes with animatronic faces singing. Because sometimes you need to look into the gaping black maw of true terror to be reminded how beautiful it is to be alive.

In your face, Fred. This is welcome to my new nightmare. (Via Dlisted.)

 
Comments (62)
  1. This is my new nightmare.

  2. And then I saw that Gabe had already written this joke and the shame was overwhelming.

    Then realized that this shame was in fact my new nightmare.

    And the nightmare came full circle.

  3. This is my new nightmare.

  4. This is my new nightmare.

  5. The bottom half of the pony is saddening! It’s just getting dragged across!

  6. That brought tears to my eyes, Painful, blood-filled tears.

  7. I bet that’s not even a real pony

  8. Seriously.

    I am losing it here.

    Freddy is going to pop out of my computer any second.

    I need to stop posting.
    It’s only fueling the embarrassment .

    Gah!

  9. Say Hello To My Little Pony (Filed: fond BNPG memories)

  10. No Ginuwine?

  11. It just keeps going! For, like, almost ten minutes! That’s not a nightmare, that’s a full-on teeth grinding, seizure-inducing night terror.

  12. This is My New Nightmare’s Coldest Winter.

  13. Look for Sweetie Bell to guest star on an upcoming episode of Glee

    • Is this on a stage somewhere? How did this set get built, or the animatronic face? I can’t imagine people actually paying money to see this, but most youtube clips like this are just some guy in a homemade rubber spiderman suit sitting on his couch rubbing his thighs.

      Someone put some serious $$$ behind bringing their dream of a disconcerting parapalegic nightmare unicorn to life.

  14. Its sad to think that the people in those costumes probably had aspirations of moving to New York and becoming a famous actor or actress. Nothing like living the dream…

  15. Where’s the kid from Equus when you need him?

  16. Don’t you hate when you’re on stage in your My Little Pony Sings Showtunes Furry outfit and the fake table of ice cream and milkshakes gets in your way? I know I do. It gets in the way and I just get so mad that I kick the shit out of it with my hoof-foot and sing “you’re gonna love me.”

  17. Bravo. This guy knows what I’m talking about.

  18. I found this a couple of days ago and it’s taken me this long to purge it from my mindbrains. And here you go opening up old wounds. THANKS A LOT, GABE.

  19. 100+ hours of pony practice paid off!

  20. This is fully terrifying now, but 22 years ago I know I would have endlessly begged my parents to take me to see it at the Civic Center until they relented and bought the (way overpriced) tickets to My Little Ponypalooza.

    I’m assuming it is probably a similar experience as when I went to Sesame Street Live only with more paraplegic ponies singing Black Eyed Peas songs (PROBABLY) and less stuffed Mr. Snuffleupaguses.

  21. So is the problem the fact that they are singing monstrosities of creatures or that they are not singing original songs?

    • or songs that are age appropriate. weird stalkerish ballads about making real men love you are not the things 5 years olds should be listening to, let alone said ballads being sung by giant pink horses.

  22. I’m not okay.

    Although… when the pony kicked its one-dimensional table because of it’s pony rage at being kicked out of pony Dreamgirls because Beyonce Pony is whiter (more sparkly?) and more appealing to middle-American ponies… I felt something. Something real.

  23. This pony has definitely been eating Friskies.

  24. Can someone slow down and reverse the audio? That would really maximize this to a heart exploding level of terror.

  25. This is the real NSFW.

  26. Please monsters…. do not turn the picture into a Avadah!!!

  27. Now, I’m an actor, and I have done my fair share of musicals. But this kills it.

    I’m done.

  28. Oh god, it burns, it BURNS

  29. I believe that is actually a video of American Idol seen through the eyes and mind of Paula Abdul

  30. I hope this doesn’t awaken something in me.

  31. That’s a pretty impressive perpetual wheelie that pony is popping there.

  32. I don’t understand art.

  33. We’re gonna need a bigger glue factory.

  34. When I was a child, I used my collection of My Little Ponies as warhorses (of course, brushing their hair after the carnage), but had I seen this then, I’m not sure whether I would have been more stoked to have my X-Men ride them into battle or if I’d have wanted to lock them in the trunk like we did my sister’s My Buddy after watching Chuckie or my clown rag doll after seeing It.

  35. Damn pony you got a soulful voice.

  36. ” two My Little Ponies singing Wicked”

    “What is the last thing a drag queen sees before sleep, Alex”

  37. And this is different than Glee…how?

  38. This is sort of like seeing the Wiggles doing gansta rap off-camera. Or Kristin Stewart smiling between takes. That said, if I was playing Rainbow Dash, I’d sure as hell do this as a warm-up.

  39. Well, dammit, I see my sex tape finally leaked.

  40. The only thing that makes me feel better about this is imagining that there is a giant 10-year-old me lurking behind that corner, determined to sink that pony in my friend’s pool.

  41. i’m holding out for the cabbage patch nixon in china spectacular

  42. Musical really affects me in a negative way.

    Horses/Ponies are the gatekeeper to nightmares. (All the visible muscles probably!)

    A combination of the two creates some weird ice cream cake of a night terror.

  43. This is real. No seriously. A friend and I went to this show a few years ago in LA at the Kodak Theater. My Little Ponies Live: The Biggest Tea Party Ever. Or some shit. We were the only 20 somethings at the show. Everyone else was a 5 year old girl wearing a princess costume and screaming “I love you my little ponies!!” Clearly, this was the downtime during rehearsal. And oh my, what hilarity. Not to burst any bubbles, but none of this was constructed for a youtube medley. The performers were goofing off for this video, much like Jean-Luc Picard’s alphabet song on the bridge of the Enterprise D.

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