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As you have probably heard by now, Alec Baldwin, famous for his hilarious voicemail messages, was rushed to a hospital last night following a disagreement with his 14-year-old daughter, Ireland, when same daughter called the police. From the AP:
Alec Baldwin, a star of NBC’s “30 Rock,” was examined Thursday at a hospital after his daughter called 911 saying he had threatened to take pills after they argued, a law enforcement official said.
Baldwin’s daughter called 911 at around 12:10 a.m. from his Central Park West apartment, according to the official, who spoke to The Associated Press on condition of anonymity because the person wasn’t authorized to speak publicly.
“This was a misunderstanding on one person’s part. Alec was quickly released from the hospital; he’s completely fine and will be at work today,” the 51-year-old actor’s spokesman, Matthew Hiltzik, said in a statement.
Ah, yes, a misunderstanding. Of course! Anyone who is a parent knows that sometimes when you are in an argument with your teenage daughter you threaten to commit suicide with pills. It’s called rhetoric. If anything, he was probably just going over Ireland’s upcoming Debate Club state championship.
But this is America! It is up to us to DECIDE what the misunderstanding was. It’s called democracy. After the jump, we put it to a VOTE:
This guy knows what’s up:
Here’s a poll: which of these two excellent fathers is in jail?!
“Now that’s a misunderstanding!”
–Mike “The Misunderstanding” Schmorentrindo
P.S. New 30 Rock on NBC tonight at 9:30 EST.
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They were arguing over the correct spelling of “beetlgeuse”.
He needs to bone up on his Juggalo parenting skills. Rude, thoughtless little pig!
Somebody is really loving this new poll technology…
TWSS
Also kind of messed up: his spokesman throwing the daughter under the bus in his statement.
I’ve always said, I said “That Alec Baldwin is one stand up guy”. And boy howdy, was I right.
“I said ‘Always Be Closing,’ not ‘Always Be Committingsuicidebyalethaldoseofpills!’”
The winner of this argument gets a Cadillac El Dorado. The loser has to eat the medicine cabinet.
Even if he had taken the pills he’d have less in his system than Daniel Baldwin
I’m pretty sure it’s the wrong sized t-shirt. Alec just really seems like the kind of guy who would be overly sensitive about his weight:
Ireland: “I know it’s only an extra large but I’m confident that this time the diet will work!”
Daddy: “WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LOVE ME THE WAY I AM? *sob* Where are my pills??”
See, I guessed mug in the dishwasher because, EXPLOSION! Not that I know what happens when you put a dishwasher-unsafe mug in the dishwasher, but I assume it explodes.
Coincidentally, “Pole Daddy” was my nickname in high school.
He stood to close to a plane and his (glorious) chest hair got sucked into the engine.
I can only assume they were arguing over whether or not he, Billy and Daniel constituted an “acting family dynasty” back in their early-90s heyday.
Or maybe she was defending her choice to include uncle Stephen in her calculations, solely based on his performance in ‘Bio Dome’.
Guys don’t make fun. I take a fist full of pills whenever I get in an argument too! Alec Baldwin and I both possess the mindset of very mature 13 year olds. You guys just don’t understand us! No one understands us! (Especially our parents.) I’m with you Baldwin! Where are my xanax?!
My parents are becoming less cool by the hour today. They just can’t compete.
JK, I’m not killing myself.
-Alec Baldwin, 2010
“I don’t want. Your yikes.” – James Van Der Beek (Varsity Blues)
“Alec was quickly released from the hospital; he’s completely fine and will be able to write his usual 50 blog posts today for Huffington Post.”
I remember when I was a teenage girl fighting with my dad, I would sometimes say things like “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ME! I WISH ALEC BALDWIN WAS MY FATHER!”
So, um, dad, turns out I was wrong about that. Also, sorry for being a jerk when I was a teenager.
I totally forgot his daughter’s name is Ireland! Couldn’t you have just went with Erin like a normal human being?! I mean it’s even Irish, like the language historically spoken by the Irish!
I guess she rankled him and raised his… IRE!
Woof.
Threatening to take pills to your fourteen year old daughter named IRELAND? That’s a deal breaker, ladies!
They were probably arguing over the fact that hundreds of thousands of people died/are dying in Haiti and how it’s really going to ruin “Valentine’s Day” (theaters everywhere Feb 13th!).
“If I have learned anything from my Sims family: When a child doesn’t see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, then his mood level will drop until he pees himself.” – Liz Lemon
Funny how the inverse of this is true in Alec Baldwin’s life.
As any Dad will tell you (especially my own), divorce is much, much harder on grown-ass men then it is on children. Hey, here’s a thought… either get the help you so desperately need or stay the fuck away from your kids.
(sorry for the angrygum – feel free to downvote)
Hearing about anything that goes on behind the scenes in the Baldwin/Basinger family just makes me feel all awkwardgum. One of the worst divorces in the history of Hollywood couples, and both camps still actively plant stories that makes the other look negative without providing any real context. And the fact that they both use their poor daughter as a pawn makes it even more cringe-inducing. I
Would be great if they would just stop offering America ringside seats to their extremely personal infighting. It’s all just a big bowl of yuck soup and I don’t even want to look at it.
Am I the only one who doesnt think it’s cool to be making fun of people’s private personal problems? Leave Steven Baldwin alone
I mean Alec Baldwin obviously
I don’t think you have to worry about people not leaving Stephen Baldwin alone.
Just wait, tomorrow the Insider will have a home video taken by Ireland of her dad trying to eat a Pastrami Sandwich from Katz’s Deli while in a Tylenol PM stupor*
*Zanax blackout
Seriousgum, dude has some issues. Takes me back to my days of working mental health clinics, he has some borderline personality disorder traits.
She must be mad he named her Ireland.
Not if the hope was she would emulate Kathy Ireland the pretty model
“I WILL TAKE ALL THE PILLS DR. SPACEMAN GAVE ME IF YOU DON’T STOP SEXTING ALL YOUR FRIENDS.” – Alec Baldwin
I think there’s a typo in this report, because clearly this “Alec Baldwin” fellow is the 14-year-old. “I know you hate me! Well, how about I KILL MYSELF WITH PILLS, then you’ll all be sorry!”
Didn’t get the Hug-E-Gram he wanted.