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We’ve been avoiding the Shia LaBeouf car crashtroversy this week for a few reasons:
- It’s celebrity gossip, so BARF
- The accidents we cover are trampoline accidents
- Transformers sucked
As we know now, of course, Shia has been charged with misdemeanor drunk driving (rather than felony) due in part to the LAPD finding that the accident was not his fault, he’s had surgery on his hand, his mom says he’s doing great, and he told Details magazine that he’s an alcoholic. All in all, snore me a river. But some news surfaced today from the camp of Isabel Lucas, the passenger in LaBeouf’s F150 and his co-star in Transformers 2 (which will suck). She received minor injuries, has returned to work, blah blah blah, but her mom gave this statement to the press today (via Staralicious):
“There has been an enormous media thing with this in the [United] States,” Ms. Lucas told The Cairns Post. “From Isabel’s perspective, it was just a normal car accident.”
Whoa.
Now I don’t know how they do things in Australia, but if a normal car accident means riding shotgun in a truck driven by a famous movie star and having that truck FLIP THE FUCK OVER in the middle of an intersection and become THE BIGGEST STORY IN THE WORLD, then we should all MOVE TO AUSTRALIA because that is INSANE. Seriously. Let’s go, you guys. Here. You’re welcome.
Lucas’s mom also says that Shia wasn’t drunk, and I believe her, because she wasn’t there and also what?
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they just became the fattest country in the world, too, so we won’t stand out except for less freckles.
A normal car accident in Australia is hitting a kangaroo at 35mph, getting out of the car, surveying the damage, putting the kangaroo out of its misery, then taking everything you can carry out of the car, and walking away.
aka one shitty day in the outback about 4 years ago
in a normal day in australia that would be in kilometres per hour
Aussies love to understate everything as mere humdrum.
Also, they drink like fish, so, their definiton of “drunk” is a far cry from an Americans’ definition.
Just because you said Transformers sucked, I am more in love with this site that ever before. I’m not alone in that sentiment anymore! *tear*
A normal car accident in Australia is hitting a kangaroo at 35mph, getting out of the car, surveying the damage, putting the kangaroo out of its misery, then taking everything you can carry out of the car, and walking away.
We are not the fattest country. Maybe the fattest country but with “ph” instead of “f”, I’ll give you that, but not the fattest. It’s not like our most popular food is meat and gravy pies and our most popular beverage is made by Carlton United Breweries. Oh, wait…
Nah…Don’t come to Australia. the government keeps putting in all these bullshit laws to stop “hoons” so naturally the death toll on the road is going through the roof. Its no fun anymore.