lindsay: Kathy Griffin’s assistant quit.
gabe: the only news there
gabe: is that she had an assistant for that long
gabe: you’d think the turnover rate for Kathy Griffin’s Assistant would be really high
gabe: a revolving door if you will
lindsay: I think she has several.
gabe: several revolving doors if you will
gabe: a bank of revolving doors
lindsay: Lately, I’ve been surprised by how many otherwise intelligent, critically-thinking people think Kathy Griffin is funny.
lindsay: Or love her, actually
lindsay: She is funny sometimes
lindsay: But she’s not Our National Treasure.
gabe: she’s our neediest treasure

gabe: the thing i don’t get about kathy griffin at this point is what her schtick even means
gabe: like, she’s not d-list anymore
gabe: she’s not a struggling person
gabe: so now she’s just a liar?
gabe: My Life On The List Of People Who Are Liars
gabe: is her new show
lindsay: Yeah, she’s just someone who makes the Britney Spears jokes we were all too terrified to make.
gabe: she says the thing everyone was thinking four years ago
lindsay: hahahahaha
lindsay: I also hate how saying you hate her now is like saying you hate gay icons.

lindsay: I know she claims to be a gay icon.
lindsay: but I just refuse to entirely believe that.
gabe: there’s something to be said for someone like her, who’s just doing her thing
gabe: the problem is that her thing is so aggressively annoying
lindsay: Well, exactly
lindsay: Like, we need someone sort of like her
lindsay: but why does it have to be her?
gabe: you mean why couldn’t it be you?
gabe: you’re just juealous
lindsay: hahahahaha
gabe: let’s get to the heart of it
gabe: you wish you were kathy griffin
lindsay: And she’s just jealous of the people she talks about.
gabe: well, we’re all just jealous
gabe: which is true to some extent
gabe: but i don’t need kathy griffin to teach me that life lesson
lindsay: She’s just so SMUG.
lindsay: I’ve found recently that when the topic of Kathy Griffin comes up in conversation, people are like ‘She’s great”
gabe: are you at a meeting of the Wrong About Things Society?
gabe: that might be your problem
lindsay: Hahaha
lindsay: Wrong About Things ANONYMOUS
lindsay: I really shouldn’t be talking about it
gabe: you’re scared?
gabe: of offending your friends who like kathy griffin?
lindsay: I fear that maybe I don’t like KG because she’s not staying in her box
lindsay: but then I see her and I’m like “no! I am right on this!”
gabe: well that’s not very generous
gabe: what is her box?
lindsay: I said “I fear”
lindsay: her nobody I know likes her or watches her and she gets no press box
gabe: but that was never her box
gabe: she has a show on television
gabe: do you know how many people watch television?
gabe: like, all of them
lindsay: hahahaha
gabe: and it’s been picked up for multiple seasons
gabe: so obviously people watch her
lindsay: Oh another thing
lindsay: her emmy?
lindsay: She’s always like “Can you believe someone like ME got an EMMY?”

lindsay: and it’s like “yes, you have a tv show.”
gabe: yeah, she fulfilled all the prerequisites for getting one
lindsay: “your network submits your name as a matter of routine.”
gabe: but that’s the same thing
gabe: that’s her make believe
lindsay: I don’t think you read magazines
lindsay: but say the month of june? she was in every magazine and newspaper
lindsay: with glowing profiles about how she refuses to be quiet
lindsay: about the horrible atrocities that are going on in Hollywood right now
gabe: but that’s her thing, right?
gabe: she’s goign to speak truth to power
gabe: just as soon as she figures out what power is
lindsay: hAHAHAHAH
lindsay: omg, that’s her tagline!
gabe: for now she’s speaking truth to lauren conrad and ryan seacrest
gabe: but that’s the thing I don’t like about her
gabe: is this false outsider status she’s adopted
lindsay: Yes
gabe: she’s not living in some shit apartment with four roommates trying to get out of temping
gabe: her claim to outsider status at this point
gabe: is that people think Padma is a prettier Bravo TV show host than she is?
gabe: that’s her cross to bear?
lindsay: HAHAHAHA
lindsay: and Padma was a model
gabe: kathy was on the today show
gabe: and al roker just kept saying “but you’re not really d-list”
gabe: like five times
lindsay: As long as there are prettier people, and there will be, Kathy Griffin will have a job.
gabe: and eventually she had to be like
gabe: “come on al, that’s my schtick, just play along”
gabe: it was the only time i have respected al roker
gabe: asking the tough questions, al
lindsay: Who would win in a fight?
lindsay: al or kathy
lindsay: jk
gabe: i have a feeling al has terrible cardio
gabe: he’d be winded and have to sit down
gabe: while kathy shredded him to death in a desperate attempt to prove something although she’s not sure what
gabe: she has such a chip on her shoulder
gabe: that’s the other thing
gabe: and i’m not saying that all celebrities have to have vaseline smiles or whatever
gabe: but jesus
gabe: lady
gabe: you should be working in a human resources department somewhere making Phyllis in accounts payable laugh during lunch
gabe: count your blessings
lindsay: She STILL TALKS about being the sassy friend to beautiful Brooke Sheilds on Suddenly Susan
lindsay: like she almost got the lead role
lindsay: but lost out to the former model the entire show was based around
lindsay: You know I can’t help but think of her as one of your fan fiction people
lindsay: Kathy Griffin all alone in her big huge house
lindsay: hating everyone
gabe: i imagine her in her big huge house
gabe: desperately trying to come up with jokes about how her house is too small
gabe: “it’s not working!”
lindsay: hahahahaha, and it seems like the assistants’ jobs are to be her friends
lindsay: her young hip adoring friends

gabe: the thing is kathy griffin seems smart for the most part
gabe: i think that’s where the critical confusion comes in
gabe: she definitely is doing something a little different from most fame seekers
gabe: and seems to have a little bit smarter of a head on her shoulders
lindsay: She’s like “fame is stupid, I got it by accident”
gabe: right
lindsay: but she self promotes, like, the most shamelessly
gabe: well right
gabe: she is
gabe: as i have said
gabe: a huge liar
lindsay: But I think one of the things that bugs me most about KG is the fact that I don’t really know what to think of her. She is funny sometimes, but even Rosie O’Donnell is funny sometimes
lindsay: I mean, probably
gabe: ha
gabe: wait
gabe: so what makes you mad about kathy griffin
gabe: is that you like her sometimes?
gabe: that one’s on you, that’s your problem
gabe: i’m lucky enough to know where i stand with her at all times, which is that i don’t find her funny, and she gives me a headache, and i think she’s created a false mythology that’s very mildly offensive in the way that lies are offensive
lindsay: Hahahaha
lindsay: So really, I’m the Kathy Griffin apologist in this fight.
lindsay: I think maybe I’m also a little scared of her rabid fans
gabe: you love kathy griffin
gabe: maybe the thing that you hate about kathy griffin
lindsay: but maybe her rabid fans are nonexistent and part of her mythology
gabe: is that you love kathy griffin
lindsay: I am Kathy Griffin.
lindsay: Inside.
gabe: what are her rabid fans going to do? complain you to death?
gabe: we are all kathy griffin
gabe: or so she would have us believe
gabe: luckily, almost none of us are kathy griffin
lindsay: Well I wouldn’t mind the house

Comments (18)
  1. This was more of a Friday Discussion but I agree Kathy Griffin is the Friday WORST

  2. tc  |   Posted on Jul 25th, 2008 +10

    I like how much she loves to claim that she’s “banned” from every talk show to seem edgy, like she’s Dice Clay in the early 90′s. Then finally Letterman’s producer came out and said “She’s not banned from our show, we just don’t think she’s worthy of booking.” Awesome.

  3. See, I think Kathy Griffin still is at least somewhat D-list. I didn’t know until today that her show won an emmy, and even with critical acclaim for her show and all her gigs as host of whatever awards show, no one cares about her. And no one will care about her. She has a gift for that, I guess.

  4. This tag-teaming of her makes me take her side as the underdog against uncritical bullies.

    Kathy Griffin has to be hated by everyone, that’s so d-list. Can you imagone Gabe and Lindsay ever having to live through that?

  5. who’s Kathy griffin? carrot top’s mom? peter griffin’s long lost relative? awful human being?

  6. christian  |   Posted on Jul 26th, 2008 +1

    well nobody likes her because she is not funny. or talented. she is smug. smug in a humorless way. outdated, old, boring, obnoxious. please take her off the air.

  7. She looks a lot like Andy Dick. Especially in that last picture, with the poor man’s Kristen Bell.

  8. Anytime I hear about Kathy Griffin it’s random people bashing her existence as a comedian or the way she looks. So, sure she’s D-list. The fact that she has a show is why she’s on a list to begin with..the fact that so many people hate her is the ‘D’ part. And that episode you took a screenshot of was the only episode I’ve seen of hers but probably one of the best things I’ve seen on Bravo. She was at a womens’ prison (and a mens’, which also seemed to go well surprisingly) getting their stories and sort of acting like a therapist while giving them a show as well. I know it’s not in the spirit of anything here ever but nothing about this conversation seemed to actually back up any claim of her not being funny or you know..the WORST.

  9. erik  |   Posted on Jul 27th, 2008 +2

    i like that kathy often operates on 3 levels of meta. Take her emmy acceptance speech (“suck it jesus this award is my god now.”). on one level, there are the mallgoers and walmarters who hear that and are like “damn this follower of satan!” then there’s the people with a brain who are like “oh haha she’s just being outrageous.” then there’s a 3rd level of people who actually watch her show and know she really is an atheist and isn’t kidding at all. oh and ps, isn’t telling jesus to go f himself on the emmys pretty funny and punk rock (i.e. largely why people like her)?

    • not quite  |   Posted on Jul 27th, 2008 +2

      She’s about as punk rock as Avril Lavigne. The 4th level of people know that she said it in a calculated move to keep her name in the headlines during one of the rare occasions when she had a national audience. And since then, she’s referenced her own quote much more than any of her supposed critics have.

  10. i don’t hate kathy griffin. but to borrow a quote from lisa lampinelli, ‘i’m so gay, i think margaret cho is funny.’

  11. yeah, this was not a friday fight – you agreed on about everything

  12. Clown Coffee  |   Posted on Jul 28th, 2008 0

    I call “hate crime” on Gabe and Lindsay! Anti-gay hate crime!

    Now. If you think Britney jokes that were fresh four years ago are bad, you should know that her alleged inborn appeal to “gays” (“Where’s my gays?”) is based on references aimed at gays from the ’80s at the most recent. And the most stereotypical ones gays at that time, to boot. Her gays love Barbra, Cher, and (now that they’re mellower with age) Celine, and do the finger snap and call each other by the female pronoun.

    In other words, her gay appeal is a time capsule from when she herself was 25, on the Z-list, and palling around with gay guys who are actually now mostly dead.

    That having been said, I watch her show. Alone. Not with a bunch of other gays. I think some of her humor is funny, and am not as bothered by her bad faith/dishonesty. Although she does need a new schtick.

  13. Josh Rosen  |   Posted on Jul 28th, 2008 0

    Why Doesn’t Everyone Hate Kathy Griffin?
    Because that bitch would KICK our ass….

  14. Ashley  |   Posted on Aug 3rd, 2008 0


  15. Shark'sTooth  |   Posted on Aug 3rd, 2008 -2

    Kathy Griffin is about as funny as a malignant brain tumour.

    The woman is repulsive on every level

  16. anon  |   Posted on Sep 19th, 2008 -1

    dumb bitch too bad money cant fix stupid.

  17. drm  |   Posted on Sep 14th, 2009 0

    I am gay and I cant stand the sight or sound of Kathy Griffin. She always talks about her gays, i.e. MY GAYS. What is that, slavery or her ownership in her own mind? D List is way to high of a list for me. This is ONE GAY MAN that really hates HER.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.