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Two Caption This! contests in one week? WHERE WE ARE GOING WE DON’T NEED ANY RULES. Now, obviously, we know what Brett Ratner is thinking, which is: “I wonder if I can sneak Diet Red Bulls laced with cocaine into the strip club inside this papier-mache sculpture of my dick I spent three weeks making.” But what is that poor leprechaun thinking? That is where you come in! The pot of gold at the end of this contest (I am so sorry, for everything) is special recognition in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. (Photo via Vulture.)
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According to authorities, Ratner described the assailant as looking like this police composite sketch:
ya’ll seen a leprechaun, say yeahhhhh!
I want everyone to meet the star of “Rush Hour 3-1/2.”
“maybe if I smile and remain still, his hands will remain where they are”
These Pajamajeans you have on are super soft and stylish, Brett!
The Neckie: one size fits all!
KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM, BRETT
Yes, we are expecting.
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appologiesgum
Lately I?ve been called a Ginger Leprechaun. A fat Ginger Leprechaun. By everyone in Ireland. And it really hurts my feelings. I act like it doe?n?t ,but it does, real bad. GINGER LEPRECHAUNS HAVE SOULS. I go to church. I?m a Christian. You don?t know me! You?re not God!
Still, as bad as it sucks eing a Ginger Lephrechaun, it beats being you, Brett Ratner. Get off me.
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I HAVE A SOUL!
Gah, sorry. werttrew beat me to it. I am the Brett Ratner of Monsters.
it is standard procedure to hug little gingers with your legs. it serves as a safeguard for their inevitable attempt to steal your soul, since we all know they have none. when the soul-stealing is attempted, you SQUEEZE HARD and pop their heads off eraserhead style.
A little lower. A little slower.
“Brett Ratner is putting this photo in his wallet!”
“I had the perfect part for this guy in X-Men 3!”
No, I am not “that one actor from Band of Brothers, but smaller.”
“According to early reports, Mr Ratner has killed as many as 15 little people with his piggy back addiction…”
“Dressing up like a leprechaun is humiliating and degrading, but at least I didn’t make X Men 3.”
“No, Brett, there isn’t cocaine at the end of the rainbow. Please let go.”
I up-voted your comment on its own merit, but I also just looove Creep Show.
You lunk-head!
“Lindsay Lohan and I are very proud of our baby even though her years of smoking and drug use clearly affected him during the pregnancy.”
Brett Ratner’s latest passion: shorts.
“I think I saw a tree out back that would be perfect for dangling.”
I get it!
Nicely done.
“From Shillelaghs to Oscars: The Memoirs of One LITTLE Irishman’s BIG Adventures”.
“Meet my penis, Beardsley O’Shaughnessey.”
David the Gnome has bad taste in friends.
Huh…what’s Morse Code for Rape? Uh! I think that was two blinks in which case “Rapi”? No, i have no idea what that means either; i’m sure he’s fine.
a promotional photo for Brett Ratner’s new charity:
White T-shirts, Knit Caps and Hollywood douchebags across America.
All proceeds go too Soulless Americans.
I hired this guy because his tiny hands make my junk look freakin’ huge.
(too icky?)
Hey Brett, did I ever tell you about that time I made a movie with Jennifer Aniston?
If CopperChaun and ISHATONMOVIES can bury the hatchet, can peace in the Middle East be far behind?
Look at the Little Heart he made with his forefingers and thumbs! Happy Valentimes indeed.
I hope that midget’s name is Baby Carrot-Top.
Wow, I can’t believe baby carrot humor didn’t score big.
And with this hug, 2012 got a little closer.
Not a caption, but I love the dude in the background looking on adoringly at the display of affection. I think he set them up and is just a little proud that it worked out.
you mean Fat Gabe?
I think telling Mr. Ratner that if he didn’t give up where the crock of gold was that I’d bite his ear off, and make a loin cloth out of it originally gave him the idea. But he has made it his own unpatentable design.
This reminds me of John Hurt’s death in Alien.
“I said CROCK of gold, Brett.”
This picture would have done better for several PR reasons
“Bret Ratner on the set of Lucky Charms 2 tha Streetz. Widely expected to be the biggest release of December 2012.”
That’s where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things.
Filthy Mudblood!
This is clearly a viral ad for Travelocity.
This is what happens when you do an guest spot on Entourage.
Think of the children!
“I’m an asshole!”
Isn’t it “Christ, what an asshole?”
http://modernarthur.com/blog/christwhatanasshole.html
“We both have pictures of black people in our wallets”
Quaid, Release your mind!
Having grown weary of enacting the same charade day in and day out, Paolo told Brett they had not been careful enough that night in the Poconos. Would things ever be the same between them?
“I didn’t even know I was pregnant!”
Shaun White’s snowboarding injury was a whole lot worse than we thought.
The hands on my little belly I’m ok with, the boner in my back, I’m not.
“I’ve got good news! That gum you like is going to come back in style. She’s my cousin, but doesn’t she look almost exactly like Laura Palmer?”
“I need your protection, be my samurai”
Hey, hermano.
Richard Cohen’s latest neophyte convert demonstrates how to “hug out the gay.”
Brett rubbed the lepracaun’s pot of gold until the surprised actor could run away and laugh off the traumatizing experience of what it truly means to not know the difference between reality and a class 4 felony. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
This TLC show better be worth it.
Brett Ratner: (in a sign of relief, to himself) Got ‘em!
“Please God don’t let him find out the beard’s fake. Elsewise I am UNHIREABLE.”
Brett Ratner, having accumulated too much suck for him to carry on his own, has hired some help to bare the load. Of suck.
“He’s back! And for those of you who thought Verne Troyer’s first sex tape was weird…”
Everyone knew Brett Ratner was into artistic, creative, insightful directing
Jealous of Jeff Dunham’s title as “The Worst”, Brett Ratner starts auditioning his own racist ventriloquist act…”I keel you if you take me lucky charms”
“I hope that’s a papier-mâché sculpture poking the small of my back.”
OMG, this photo is going straight to my website, http://www.ratnerleprechaunempanada.com
(Featured Empanada: Beef)
“My Ginger!! You can’t have IT!”
The Making of Lord of the Rings XXX w/ Brett Ratner as Peter Jackson
the latest upload on channing tatum’s postthelove.com
Brett Ratner is the Seth MacFarland of movies. At least, until Seth MacFarland starts making movies.
The best part of the picture is the guy on the right, in the back… Sitting there thinking to himself… “Oh yeah! This is happening”
Of course you can keep the bottom half of your country.
Hat buddies 4evar!