Apparently this documentary, Trouble the Water, premiered at Sundance this year and won BIG PRIZES, not that we would know because we WEREN’T INVITED. But it looks great, and while you may be able to keep me out of your schwag bag party, you can’t disinvite me from paying ten dollars to see it in a movie theater, Robert Communist Russia Redford.

Remember in The Day After Tomorrow, when Jake Gyllenhaal and all his pals were in the New York Public Library and ice was chasing them down the hallway? But then they closed the door to that reading room and all the ice piled up on the door, banging with its ice fists to get in, but they were safe because they’d slammed the door in ice’s face? That’s all. I just wanted you to remember that.