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[In this feature, we periodically check in to see what is up with Topher Grace.]

The Apple iPad actually seems like a joke. Like, I could imagine a movie opening with a scene at a fancy industry convention where the Bapple ePad is unveiled, and then it fades to black and a subtitle reads “Six Months Later…” and we fade in on a man in a fancy suit rummaging through garbage. He crouches down in an alleyway to avoid a routine police rousting of the hobo camp where he now finds himself living. With the police bootsteps fading into the distance, the man solemnly takes out a bent, weathered photo of the wife who left him, sitting astride a polo horse. “I’ll win you back, Tiffany,” he whispers to the photo. “I built a business empire before, and I will do it again.” And then a rat steals his moldy sandwich. What I am trying to say is, hahahhaha Apple iPad. Get real!

Of course, the release of the Apple iPad isn’t the only big news today. There is also the President of the United States’s delivery of the State of the Union address
another important update on what is up with American actor and celebrity Topher Grace!

So, what is up with him?

Plenty. Duh. It’s Hollywood! But first we should get some old news out of the way. The Golden Globes were two weeks ago, which might as well be two hundred years in Topher Time. But there is one final report from an awards show pre-party at the Chateau Marmont, from Scallywag & Vagabond:

From engaging in an intellectual dissection of Quentin Tarantino’s greatest films, with the man himself, to shamelessly flirting with Chace Crawford (and learning that he makes his own coffee) to laughing at Topher Grace’s sarcastic jokes and swapping fashion tips with Ashley Olsen, amusement was abundant.

I suppose it’s not news that Topher Grace is hilarious. We all know that. But it’s nice to see him getting the recognition that he deserves. Personally, we would have made him the focus of the whole article, and using “sarcastic” as a dismissive qualifier seems like just the kind of editorializing that got Judith Miller THROWN IN JAIL! But whatever. Topher has clearly moved on, so we should, too.

Topher continues to lead the charge in providing help and hope to Haiti. As the Huffington Post reports:

Hollywood roused to raise funds for Haiti at The Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel’s “A Night to Benefit Haiti” last week. Adam Levine, Lake Bell, Jeremy Piven, Topher Grace and others rocked to DJs Thom Yorke, Nigel Goodrich and Chris Holmes at the benefit, which raised $20,000.

Lot of big stars in that line-up, but this isn’t a time to be worrying about the order, or who is more or less famous than who. It’s just about going to a boutique hotel in Hollywood and helping out Haiti. And having fun! Sure, $20,000 might not seem like that much money for a room full of celebrities to raise even if all they are doing is dancing and crushing vodka mixed w/ Diet Red Bull, but that’s about how much the CW spends a single day’s catering service for the set of Vampire Diaries. So, think about that.

BREAKING: sorry ladies (and fellas maybe, who knows, it’s the ’90s), looks like Topher might be OFF THE MARKET. According to Hollywood House Call, whatever THAT is, he has found a new Lady Love:

Actor Topher Grace has found love with David Cassidy’s daughter Katie.

The Spider-Man 3 star, 31, met the Melrose Place actress, 22, at a friend’s Hollywood party in August and the couple has been spotted out on various dinner dates ever since.

An eyewitness tells the National Enquirer, “They could not keep their hands off each other. They sat side by side and were inseparable. Topher kept kissing Katie and rubbing her shoulders. He looked in love.”

VARIOUS DINNER DATES! Are their wedding bells in the air? It is too early to tell, and of course, even if there were, that is not any of our business. I hope that everyone who reads this column respects Topher’s privacy as much as we do.

That being said, perhaps the best Topher news we could ever hear is that he is just living his life, which seems to be exactly what he is doing these days. Topher Tipster Nick sent in this breathless sighting:

Topher was eating brunch at the 101 Cafe in L.A. last Saturday afternoon with a platonic male friend and I may be the first to break the news to you that his hair is VERY CLOSELY CROPPED NOW. Just FYI.

Awesome! We love brunch! And we also think that very closely cropped hair often looks very handsome, especially when it is bordering an incredibly famous face. oh to be a fly on the wall of that cafe, not bothering anyone at their meal or concerning the cafe’s owners about their upcoming health department review. Just a fly who is watching, not interfering.

Meanwile, the Onion Av Club‘s Austin, Texas, chapter informed us of another TG sighting, care of Austin360:

Actor Topher Grace was spotted with his posse over the weekend at Austin Books & Comics. Why Grace, why Austin, why now?

Cuz he’s making “Predators,” the Robert Rodriguez-produced reboot of the sci-fi-thriller “Predator,” parts of which were shot in Bastrop and at Rodriguez’s Troublemaker Studios. (The rest was done in Hawaii.)

There is no word on whether he was at the store to buy books or comics, but again, that is not any of our business. It is just nice to see that Topher is achieving work-life balance. He works hard, and he plays hard, probably.

And, of course, That ’70s Show remains popular in syndication

There you go. That is what is up with Topher Grace. Send your Topher tips to tophergracenews@videogum.com. See you next time!

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Comments (52)
  1. I want an iTopher joke pretty bad, but the adult part of my brain (MOST OF MY BRAIN NOW) will not allow itself to be used for that.

  2. woozefa  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2010 -28

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

    • nice! good sarcasm! You and TG are like 2 peas in a sarcastic and philanthropic pod.

      • Unfortunately, I couldn’t score an invite to the State of the Union address. Maybe next year, guys!
        Hope you all will check out Valentine’s Day, my new movie, in theaters February 12!
        (This post has been officially approved by Topher Grace.)

    • The fact that you said “douchey” as well as “douchebag” in the same sentence really shows me the time you took thinking that sentence out.
      But shouldn’t you be studying for your degree in smarts now?

    • You are coming very close to actually understanding the point of this feature! (Minus the mean things you are saying about Topher Grace, because that is seriously not what this is about at all.) Keep at it, woozefa!

      • woozefa  |   Posted on Jan 27th, 2010 +18

        MMFWCL.

      • I actually thought the point was to have an outlet for some of your random musings that don’t really fit in a pop culture context.
        It seems like you asked Scott if you could do a weekly feature of stuff that’s been on your mind and he answered, “Sure. Just try to make it relevant. We’re professionals here.”
        And honestly, what’s more relevant than Topher Grace?

        • You are a little further away from getting it than woozefa, but you’ll get there. Just keep at it!

          • Oh, you tease…

          • Here are my theories:

            1. A satire of celebrity gossip blogs
            2. An SEO maneuver to gain advertising traffic from people who look up Topher Grace
            3. A social experiment/prank to see whether we will read and comment on something we don’t care about just because it’s on a blog we like

          • I agree with 1. When you think about it, is covering What’s Up With Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt or any other superstar really any more interesting than What’s Up With Topher Grace? Not that I’m saying that Topher Grace isn’t a superstar.

          • Regarding #3: Because we read and comment does that not mean we care? We at least take the time out of our day, and time is precious or something.
             
            Another Theory regarding TG posts (and Vgum in general?): to get us to bother with someone/something that we ordinarily wouldn?t. I mean, I keep reading the Thirtysomething recaps. I even HELD the dvd at Target the other day and was like, what am i doing? put this down before someone sees… When I first saw Topher in that stupid Love Actually 2 trailer (Valentino?s day?) I thought, ?Well, at least I know WUWTG.?
            So, I guess I?m saying: DAMN YOU GABE!
             
            but also Why not T.Grace? I bet he likes thinking he has lots of fans and is still culturally relevant. (that does not mean he does not/is not)
            (it implies it)
            (and also: shut up, me)

    • I guess I’m too late to post “who cares about Topher Grace” and get into the monster’s ball (albeit for lowest rated, but it’s still there)?

    • I upvoted you because Groupthink

  3. How come Douchebag of Renown Jeremy Piven gets to hang out in the same room as Topher and none of us do?! There is no justice in the world.

  4. At first I read that quote from Scallywag & Vagabond (huh?) as though it was a list of things Toph-Dawg was doing at the party. I was like “wow, TG talked to Tarantino about his movies, flirted with Chance Crawford, laughed at his own jokes AND traded fashion tips with Ashley Olsen? One of America’s finest thespians and a renaissance man to boot? Clearly this man can do it all”

  5. I went into work today and a few of my managers were talking about the upcoming hit film ‘Valentine’s Day’, so I interjected with “Oh that has Topher Grace in it!” and they went “Yeah, and also…” and then they listed a bunch of boring actors. I replied that it didn’t matter who else was in it, because Topher Grace was. Then two seconds ago, one of them walked by and saw me reading this page on break. She walked away uncomfrotably. MLITG

  6. Topher sez:


    “I’m sure if you got to know me, you’d like me!”

  7. Man, for some reason this, together with ?Videogum’s Teen Korner? has become my favorite thing.

  8. Wow, Toph’s dating someone 9 years younger! She was just a child when That 70′s Show debuted.

  9. Brunch with a PLATONIC male friend. Thanks for that “no topho,” tipster Nick.

  10. Guys, I just heard Topher Grace is tossing out the first pitch at the Superbowl! That is sports, right?

  11. Now that Jersey Shore is over, can we make “TGL” mean “Topher Grace Lover?”

  12. I just got an email with the subject line “5 ways the iPad could change e-books” and my first thought was, “Videogum has a NEWSLETTER?!! AWESOME!!!”

    But, nope. That email means it.

  13. I love that Topher is dating Muppet Baby Heather Locklear. That just seems perfect.

  14. Gabe, this is most definitely not the 90′s. I mean, come on, Spider-Man 3 comes out next week, and Topher is sure to make it big! That movie will be so great.

  15. he said ‘hobo camp’

  16. Aw, really? I just thought I had finally found a community who loved Topher Grace as much as I do.
    And then this is the part where I would make a joke about my long and arduous search for such a place, if I had one prepared. I don’t.

  17. Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    If the iPad had a Topher Grace App, I’d shell out $500 before you could say Mona Lisa Smile. And yes, the app would be that big. He’s that important.

  18. I don’t know the Top. Gra.-man personally ^>:”(kind of sad face), but I bet he was at the book & comics store doing research for Predators. Then he could be all like “Hey Robert Rodriguez, did you know in #46 it’s revealed that the Predators are allergic to tubers? So maybe they would be afraid of my character’s french fries and that way I wouldn’t have to die.”

  19. It actually wasn’t until this week while I was walking the dog and saw the Valentine’s Day poster, and read the list of like fifteen actors looking for TG’s place in the list, that I realized that he was not actually the “star” of that movie.

  20. “Are their wedding bells in the air?”

    I mean technically this sentence could make sense, considering two people’s wedding bells = their wedding bells, but COME ON.hey, what’s up with correct usage of there/their/they’re in hey, what’s up with topher grace posts?

  21. David Cassidy is hung like a horse.

  22. Gabe wouldn’t prank us, right? RIGHT?

  23. I am guessing that Mr. Grace is not a very nice person in real life and probably less talented then we were led to believe. I don’t think a feature of this nature would exist for a celebrity that most of us truly admire or respect. For example, I would much rather read in the lastest “What’s up with Jim Jarmusch” what new hair product he is using to make it look like that.

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