As we all know by now, Bag of Hair has been inexplicably tapped to replace Conan O’Brien in 2009 when Conan moves to California to take over the Tonight Show from Jay Leno (AKA Bag of Chin). But news comes today of an unusual training program for Hair, conceived by Lorne Michaels: a nightly webisodic talk show? From the NYT:

Mr. Fallon has been named as the replacement for Conan O’Brien when Mr. O’Brien takes over the “Tonight” show from Jay Leno next year, and Mr. Michaels, the long-time boss of NBC’s “Saturday Night Live,” who also serves as executive producer of “Late Night,” told television reporters here Sunday that he wants Mr. Fallon to work out as many of the rough spots in his presentation as possible in performances on a website.

Mr. Michaels said he did not know yet which site he will use to post the shows with Mr. Fallon, but he was sure of several of the plans:

The web performances will likely begin in the fall, long before the transition from Mr. Leno for Mr. O’Brien is set to take place. The entries will not constitute anything like an entire hour-long show. “I expect that we’ll do something like five or 10 minutes,” Mr. Michaels said.

But he said they most likely will be on every night, to try to establish the rhythm of a nightly show. And he said, “I’m going to post them at 12:30 every night, so people will begin to look for Jimmy at that time.”

Aw, poor Bag of Hair. Even Craig Ferguson wasn’t asked to work out the kinks of his show in a Vlog before he started. Maybe that’s because even Craig Ferguson has a demonstrated history of talent and entertainment value. So, you guys, we only have one way to stop Bag of Hair…

We have to Google Bomb him. The basic idea is to get enough websites to link to Fallon’s webshow using a certain commonly searched for phrase so that his show becomes the number one result for that phrase and is forever associated with it. The most famous example of this was when a Google search for “miserable failure” took you to the White House homepage (now it just takes you to stories about Google Bombs, but hopefully our work will not become such a David Foster Wallacian clusterfuck).

Here are my suggestions for Google Bombs to Fallon’s webshow, although feel free to do your own agit-prop e-protests.

  • “Fired”
  • “How to Fire Someone”
  • “Someone Should Fire That Guy”
  • “Jimmy, Fired”
  • “Job Openings In Television”
  • “The Fastest Firing in History”
  • “Unemployed Hacks”

OK. I don’t actually really know how Google Bombing works, I’m just an ideas man. You have your assignment, Internet. Get her done.

Comments (4)
  1. Someone Special  |   Posted on Mar 3rd, 2009 0

    Well I don’t know if your google bomb was successful, but I found this old story searching for how many other people thought that Bag of Hair totally bombed his first show! What an embarrassment! I really felt bad for De Niro.

  2. Wayne  |   Posted on Jun 14th, 2009 0

    Why do you call him bag of hair, shouldn’t Conan be bag of hair because of his huge hair? Fallon should be sir lisps-alot!

  3. JenLee  |   Posted on Aug 14th, 2009 -1

    wow…”Gabe” this is a perfect demonstration of pointless and totally random nasty malicious attacks-if you don’t like the dude, whatever don’t watch his show. Why don’t you use some of that souless energy on attacking someone who deserves to be attacked, like Dick Cheney. People like you should pay more attention to what is actually going on in your own country-instead of attacking blameless people like Jimmy. Unfortunately the down side of the internet is that any ignorant douche and can voice their opinions regardless of whether they have any validity. You’re just mean. Take up gardening…or work with underpriveleged kids…or volunteer at the animal shelter. Get a LIFE!

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