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It is almost depressing how excited I got today when I created a Twitter game that kind of succeeded. I mean, nothing happened. It is not trending or anything. @ladygaga didn’t play it. We didn’t even get any new followers on the @videogum Twitter (although I think we might have lost one?). And yet, there I was, Al Goring it up like I’d invented Twitter itself. Yikes. Clearly I have been on the Internet for too long. PULL THE PLUG, DOCTOR. But before I die and go to heaven, let’s play one more round!

The game is simple: #sponsoredmoviequotes

We’ve already got some great entries:

  • “TONIGHT…WE DINE…IN APPLEBEE’S!” (via @videogum)
  • “Why so Sirius?” (via @gabedelahaye)
  • “Swiffer the leg.” (via @alexblagg)
  • “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to Diet Coke!” (via @thighmaster)
  • “The problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of Hormel Turkey Chili with Beans in this crazy word.” (via @jasonmreich)

Anyway, have fun. Obviously, I am sad to leave (Earth) (for heaven) but I’ve had a good run. I invented Twitter (basically) for heck’s sake!

Comments (319)
  1. You had me at Hello Kitty?

  2. Bond. Gold Bond.

  3. Throw Momma from Thomas the Train

  4. “The dingo took my Baby Ruth!”

  5. It’s like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it’s going to rain.
    #Builtinsponsoredmoviequote

  6. Good morning! And in case I don’t see you, Good afternoon, good evening, and Mr. Goodcents!

  7. Man, you come right out of a Batman comic book.

  8. “No Verizon Wireless…..EVER!!!”

  9. “I can’t believe I gave my panties to a Geek Squad.”

  10. “Welcome to McDonald’s home of McDonald’s can I take your order?”

  11. “Pea Soup Anderson’s, welcome back. Weeeeeeeeee missed you.”

  12. Fish, and plankton. And sea greens, and Chicken of the Sea. It’s all here, ready.

  13. I really want to use “no wire hangers ever!” but I’m having trouble since clothes hangers/wires aren’t branded. Can you monsters think of something?

  14. Why don’t you go back to your home on Pleasure Island?

  15. “SNAP OUT OF IT….and into a Slim Jim.”

  16. “I’m king of the World of Warcraft!”

  17. “Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Buick Invitational champion. It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!”

  18. “Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Waste Management Phoenix Open champion. It looks like a mirac?It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole! It’s in the hole!”

  19. “My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you, VALTREX?.”

  20. You go, Glen Coco Chanel!

  21. “WILSONNNN” (soccer balls, hehe you get it)

  22. “My Game Boy Advance! I abandoned my Game Boy Advance!”

  23. Bond. James Gold Bond, Medicated Powder.

  24. Give me back my Sun Chips!

  25. “These aren’t the Motorola DROIDs we’re looking for.”

  26. “All work and no Sony Playstation 3 makes Jack a dull boy.”

  27. “Do or do not, there is no Triaminic”

  28. “Wanna see a MagicJack?”

  29. Love is never having to say your Sony.

  30. - To Infiniti and beyond!
    - There is no spoon…ful of Jell-O Pudding
    - Luke, I am not your father’s Volvo
    - Don’t fuck with the babysitter, without Durex

  31. May the Nike Air Force 1s be with you.

  32. Killing me won’t bring back your Sue Bee Honey

  33. I just signed up to play this game, so here goes:

    “Shit Just Got Real California Cheese!”

  34. What, like the back of a Volkswagen Jetta?

  35. Want to see my Ticonderoga Pencil trick?

  36. That’ll do, Bacon Bits. That’ll do.

  37. I ate his liver with some Pork & Beans and a nice chianti.

  38. That’ll do Piggly-Wiggly

  39. Stay Gold Bond, Ponyboy.

  40. To Infiniti (cars) and beyond!

  41. Maybach the force be with you.

  42. I could’ve had class. I could’ve been a ConAgra.

  43. “My family, we’re different from others of our kind. We only drink animal blood, but it’s your scent. It’s like a drug to me. It’s like Diet Mountain Dew Code Red’s my own personal brand of heroin.”

  44. When and where does this “MTV’s The Real World” occur?

  45. Here’s Johnny Cakes!

  46. FORRR EVVVV ERRRR 21

  47. I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy asking for some Cool Ranch Doritos

  48. “You hear what I said, Miss Kubelik? I absolutely adore you.”
    “Shut up and deal or no deal.”

  49. Life is like a box of chocolates…you never know what your gonna REDBULL!

  50. Goddamn, you’re one Suave Shampoo fucker!

  51. I just want my Family Dollar back.

  52. Let my people Pass Go and Collect $200.

  53. SHOW ME THE MONOSTAT AD!!!

  54. “I think I’m in love with Sumner Redstone”

  55. This Swatch…I could have saved five more lives with this Swatch…

  56. To infinity and Bed Bath and Beyond!

  57. Chuck? This is your cousin, Marvin. Marvin Berry! You know that new sound you’ve been looking for? Well, listen to these Bose In-Ear Headphones.

  58. Soylent Green is PeopleSoft

  59. Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives Extraordinary Measures starring Brendan Fraser and Harrison Ford.

  60. My Precious Moments.

  61. 28 days… 6 hours… 42 minutes… 12 seconds. That… is when The Real World… will end.

  62. You’re tearing me apart, Levis!

  63. You know, I’m really wired. What do you say I . . .take you home and eat your Pillsbury Crescent Rolls.

  64. I feel the need, the need for Speed Stick deodorant.

    Welcome to Hair Club. The first rule of Hair Club is: you do not talk about Hair Club. The second rule of Hair Club is: you DO NOT talk about Hair Club!

  65. You can erase someone from your mind. Getting them out of your Pontiac Aztek is another story.

  66. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  67. I’m Secretary of State, brought to you by Carl’s Jr.

  68. You can be my Buffalo Wild Wings man anytime.

  69. “There is nothing to worry about. You are going to be just fine. I am your number one Fandango.com”

    “I wish I knew how to quit with Nicorette patches.”

  70. I love the smell of Nutella in the morning

  71. ALSO: “Carmax diem. Carmax the day, boys.”

  72. Snapple, we have a problem!

  73. I feel the need! The need for Need for Speed 3 speed.

  74. I DON’T WANT YOUR LIFE CEREAL!

  75. Life is like a box of Hershey’s chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.

  76. I just Selsun Blue myself.
    (I know it’s from tv but I was too proud of it)

  77. “I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell, I’M AS MAD AS HELLMAN’S MAYONNAISE AND I’M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!”

  78. Strange things are afoot at the Circle K

  79. Don’t you think it’s funny that if I grab a woman’s ass and she punches me, she’s fighting for her rights, but if a faggot grabs my ass and I punch his lights out, I’m a Pepper?

  80. We’ve got Bush’s Beans

  81. Also-
    Shut that cunt’s mouth or I’ll come over there and fuckstart her Head & Shoudlers!

  82. Open the pod bay doors, please IBM.

  83. “We got to have a doctor. I don’t know nothin’ ’bout birthin’ Babies ‘R Us!”

  84. I want to poop back and forth. forever 21.

  85. “Come out to the Crest, we’ll get together, have a few laughs.”

  86. “I love you, Man-wich” (it’s a party game and it’s true)

  87. Sharpie Diem

  88. “Put that coffee down. Folger’s-brand coffee is for closers only.”

  89. Welcome to Earth Shoes!

  90. “Forget it Jack, it’s Pfaltzgraff? Chinatown”
    “That’s not a knife! That’s a Genuine Ginsu? knife!”
    “You just put your lips together and Blow Pop?”
    “Follow the white Volkswagen Rabbit”

  91. One NuvaRing to rule them all.

  92. Snackwells. Why did it have to be Snackwells?

  93. One NuvaRing to rule them all.

  94. They can take our lives, but they’ll never take our free medium one topping pizza with the purchase of any large Stuffed Crust© pizza at regular menu price!

    • I guess you can’t technically copyright Stuffed Crust, but if you could there’d probably be a Pulitzer in it for you.

  95. whoops sorry.

  96. Love means never having to say you’re Sony.

  97. “How am I TBS very funny?”

  98. “You’re not a bad person. You’re a terrific person. You’re my favorite person, but every once in a while, you can be a real Country Time Lemonade.”

  99. “Look what you did you little Slim Jim beef jerky.”

  100. “Where does he get those wonderful toys? Probably Toys ‘R Us is what I’m thinking.”

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