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It is almost depressing how excited I got today when I created a Twitter game that kind of succeeded. I mean, nothing happened. It is not trending or anything. @ladygaga didn’t play it. We didn’t even get any new followers on the @videogum Twitter (although I think we might have lost one?). And yet, there I was, Al Goring it up like I’d invented Twitter itself. Yikes. Clearly I have been on the Internet for too long. PULL THE PLUG, DOCTOR. But before I die and go to heaven, let’s play one more round!

The game is simple: #sponsoredmoviequotes

We’ve already got some great entries:

  • “TONIGHT…WE DINE…IN APPLEBEE’S!” (via @videogum)
  • “Why so Sirius?” (via @gabedelahaye)
  • “Swiffer the leg.” (via @alexblagg)
  • “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to Diet Coke!” (via @thighmaster)
  • “The problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of Hormel Turkey Chili with Beans in this crazy word.” (via @jasonmreich)

Anyway, have fun. Obviously, I am sad to leave (Earth) (for heaven) but I’ve had a good run. I invented Twitter (basically) for heck’s sake!

Comments (319)
  1. “Yo, Ambian?!”

  2. Yippee KY Motherfucker

  3. “Woah! I know Kung-Fu Panda.”

  4. I hate to disappoint you, but my rubber lips are immune to your Charms Blow Pops.

  5. Nobody puts Baby in a Corner Bakery Cafe.

  6. Milk. (am i doing this right?)

  7. “We’re gonna need a Bigger Mac!”

  8. I drink your Frosty!

    (I said this on Twitter, but I haven’t commented yet today)

  9. ‘I want you to picture that little girl. Now imagine..she used Crest Whitestrips.”

  10. “Shasta la vista, BABY!”

  11. Brawndo! It’s got electrolytes!

  12. “No words to describe it. They should have sent a Flip Cam.”

  13. Play it again, Sam’s Club.

  14. “You had me at Hello Moto”

  15. Rosebudweiser.

  16. “Say ‘Hello Kitty’ to my little friend!”

  17. “I know it was you, Frito. I know it was you.”

  18. Hebrew National Franks, my dear, I don’t give a damn.

  19. “Dr. Grant, my dear Dr. Grant, welcome to Jurassic Park, the ride at Universal Studios, Hollywood.”

  20. “In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love – they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? This stylish and durable Omega Seamaster watch!”

  21. With great Powerade comes great responsibility.

  22. “Pop quiz, hotshot. There’s a bomb on a bus. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do for a Klondike bar?” (via @kerrycoolface aka Kiss The Pan)

  23. I KNOW IT WAS YOU, RAGU ALFREDO SAUCE!

  24. Say hello to My Little Pony

  25. What we’ve got here is.. failure.. to communicate.. .. can you hear me now?

  26. “What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate. Can you hear me now?”

  27. Where we’re going, we don’t need Rodeway Inns.

  28. “What’s in the fucking Slingbox!”

  29. “E.T., iPhone home.”

  30. I do believe in Shelley Duvall’s Faerie Tale Theatre. I do, I do.

  31. “I’ll never let Gogurt.”

  32. Open the iPod bay doors, Hal!

  33. Of all the Pizza Huts in the world, you walk into mine.

  34. There can be only one, Toyota Highlander.

  35. Nobody puts Chili’s Baby Back Ribs in a corner

  36. “Love means never having to play Sorry.”

  37. “Let’s go get the shit kicked out of us by Luvs.”

  38. “I can’t believe it’s not Rosebud.”

  39. They call me MISTER Pibb!

  40. “There’s no crying in MLB®!”

  41. You are BREAKING ME OFF A PIECE OF THAT KIT KAT BAR, LISAII!

  42. “Love means never having to play Sorry.”

  43. Aye, fight and you may die, run and you’ll live. At least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take our freecreditreport.com!!!

  44. “STELLLAAAAAAAA ARRRRRRRRTOIS!!”

  45. I love the smell of Nutter Butters in the morning.
    Oh, and my three from earlier.

  46. “Killing me won’t bring back your god damned honey nut cheerios.”

  47. “I’m gonna make him a Hot Pocket he can’t refuse.”

  48. Sea-Bond. James Sea-Bond.

  49. “There’s no place like the Home Depot.”

  50. “Plastics.”

  51. Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful Facebook friendship.

  52. “Call 1-800-CALL-ATT, friendo.”

  53. I’m Burger King of the World!

  54. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  55. “Im tired of these motherfuckin snakes on this motherfuckin Continental plane!”

  56. Man who catch fly with Chapstick accomplish anything.

  57. “Mother of mercy, is this the end of Ricola?”

  58. The dishes are done man… not because I used Cascade with Bleach Hydroclean? Action, but because I shot them with a Daisy® Air Rifle.

  59. You’ve got mail.

  60. “As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again. Thanks, Taco Bell!”

  61. “I live my life a quarter pounder at a time”

  62. “Made it, Ma! Top of the World Restaurant & Lounge, located in Las Vegas, Nevada!!”

  63. Forget it, Jake. It’s China Chef.

  64. “They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our Free-dent!”

  65. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing Elmer’s.

  66. “You really are the Burger King of kings.”

  67. “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the War Roomba!”

  68. “It’s the fucking Catalina Bartyles and Jaymes Wine Cooler Mixer!”

  69. “Hasta la Windows Vista, baby.”

  70. “I’m the ghost with the most 3G coverage.”

  71. “Go ahead. Make my Payday.”

  72. The man likes to play chess; let’s get him some pop rocks

  73. “Open the iPod bay doors, Hal.”

  74. “Heeeerrrrrreeeee’s, Ramen!”

  75. “Follow the Yellow Book road.”

  76. “I feel the need–the need for Speedos!”

  77. “E.T. iPhone home”

  78. Shut your fucking face, Uncle Ben’s fucker.

  79. “Its the circle of Cinnamon Life.”

  80. “May the Glad ForceFlex be with you.”

  81. SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE MAGAZINE!!

    • This is my favorite, to let you know.

      • Er, that should have been directed at Fresh DJ Hot Breakfast. A Confederacy of Dunces is one of my favorite books. And I’m bad at the internet.

      • WHAT I MEANT TO SAY was, thank you Jeff. I’m also happy that this is by far the highest score I’ve ever gotten on a comment, and it’s only, like, seventh on this thread. (I mean it, there’s win all over the place here.)

  82. “THIS… IS…. ‘SPARTA THIS BALANCED BREAKFAST!” (Confession: I cribbed this from the Rifftrax version of 300.)

  83. “”May the Ford be with you.”

  84. That’s what I love about these high school girls, man: I get older, they stay the same AIG.

  85. “THIS… IS…. ‘SPARTA THIS BALANCED BREAKFAST!” (Confession: I cribbed this from the Rifftrax version of 300.)

  86. If you Build-a-Bear® they will come.

  87. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a flying Fig Newton.”

  88. “It’s not tv. It’s Showtime!”

  89. “Hi-ya PayPaaaal”

  90. “Google street view? Where we’re going we don’t need Google street view.”

  91. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  92. “Have you ever danced with a Dirt Devil in the pale moon light?”

  93. “Andy brought Band-AIDS into our offices, into our men’s room. He brought Band-AIDS to our annual goddamn family picnic!”

    “Kaaaaaaaahn’s Hot Dogs!”

    “Bond. Goldbond.”

    “”I know what you’re thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I’ve kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘What can Brown do for you?’”

  94. “Excuse me while I Cool Whip this out.”

  95. “None shall EZ PASS!”

  96. “Google Street View? Where we’re going we don’t need Google Street view.”

  97. “Mrs. Butterworth, you’re trying to seduce me…Aren’t you?”

  98. “Turtle Wax off, Turtle Wax on, Daniel-son”

  99. I do believe Marsellus Wallace, my husband, your boss, told you to take me out and do whatever I wanted. Now I wanna Dance Dance Revolution; I wanna win. I want that trophy, so dance good.

  100. “We’re going to need a bigger 2009 Sailfish 30-06 Express”

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