It all seemed to happen so fast, but here we are, at the Boys II Mend of the road. Tonight, Conan O’Brien hosts his final episode of The Tonight Show after just seven months, and potentially his final late night show ever for NBC after 17 years. R.I.P. Conan! One day, many years from now, you’ll be sitting in a hover-chair out on your space-porch surrounded by your grandchildren, and you’ll tell them all about the time that a talented comedian was forcibly removed from his television hosting job by a egomaniacal rat fink car enthusiast. And your grandchildren will momentarily stop SEXTing each other dick pics with their surgically implanted iChips, and listen in rapt attention for 30 seconds until they realize that your story is in no way going to explain why the Earth is covered in water.

But for now, we drink! After the jump, rules for the Final Episode of the Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien Drinking Game:

Take a drink every time:

  • Conan does the string dance
  • Conan rolls his r’s at a lady
  • Conan rubs his nipples
  • Conan makes a disparaging remark about his skin/hair
  • Andy Richter says something hilarious because he’s the best
  • They cut to a close up of Max Weinberg looking serious
  • They cut to a close up of La Bamba and/or La Bamba’s moustache
  • Triumph the Insult Comic Dog makes a surprise visit
  • The Masturbating Bear makes a surprise visit
  • Pimbot makes a surprise visit
  • Amy Poehler makes a surprise visit (as Andy’s little sister)
  • Howard Stern reprises his role as Fart Man and descends from the rafters on a zipline
  • Bone Thugs N Harmony do a historic performance of “The Crossroads”
  • Madonna and Britney Spears Kiss
  • Krist Novoselic hits himself in the face with his bass
  • Pee Wee Herman emerges from retirement to present an award

Admittedly, some of the rules for the Final Episode of the Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien Drinking Game are very similar to the rules for the Remembering Stuff That Has Happened at the MTV Video Music Awards Drinking Game. But do not worry, I am confident that you will still be very very drunk by the end. You win?

Comments (35)
  1. And supposing that the performance of Crossroads is simply passable? What then?

  2. I have a feeling i wont be able to see after this. If the episodes as good as it is in my imagination. in there it FUCKING INCREDIBLE! he rides in on a unicorn FTW!!

  3. Waaaaaaay ahead of you, Gabe.

  4. In totally unrelated news, it’s Friday Afternoon! That means chat! Let?s
    and !

  5. I’ll see you guys at the hospital! Can’t wait!

  6. Bonus points if we listen to Green Day’s graduation classic “Time of Your Life (Good Riddance)” on repeat the whole time? So take the photographs and still frames in your mind, Conan.

  7. Can i also say, the picture in the article may be the GREATEST PICTURE EVER! Conan looks like he wants to eat my soul.

  8. Drink two if Kanye appears on set and says “Hold on NBC, Imma let you finish but Conan had the best show of all time! I’m not gay.”

  9. This game is easy! Drink every time you laugh.

  10. I’m not going unless Tom Cruise and Gay people are there.

  11. Man, if Kirst Novoselic actually came on and did that, not only would I down the whole bottle, but I’d die totally happy (about fifteen minutes later, from alcohol poisoning).
    And, as he’s staggering off, Masturbating Bear could pick up and finish “Lithium” for him. We know his picking hand can keep up.

  12. Dear Conan,

    I’ll see you at Fox or Comedy Central, so you won’t be lonely.



  13. Can we add onto the rules of time travel where we kill Hitler AND egg Jay Leno’s cars?

  14. gabe, did you mean “pimpbot?”

  15. Drink every time you think of this CHILD:

    Then drink more.

  16. Also drink if Dan Cortese hits a 30 point shot.

  17. SIGH
    *puts on robe*
    *goes to the liquor store*
    *see you guys in the chat room tonight, and @inglorious don’t be making up new rules like “drink each time @inglorious says to! You owe my liver an apology after the Golden Globes*

  18. Is it pathetic if I DVR this and then play on Sunday morning?

  19. If you also drink every time he says something disparaging about NBC, we should all black out. Hopefully.

  20. Tonight, the redheaded & be-freckled of the world are gonna get FUCKIN DRUNK!


    Well, I was.

  22. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  23. Dear Internet,

  24. So, in the end, very little drinking! This sounded full-proof. A sober goodbye for Conan.

  25. i wasnt nearly drunk enough after the conclusion of the episode, so i decided to watch fallon and drink every time i cringed at something he said. i was shitfaced before his monologue was over.

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