Hey chill dudes and super-radical babes, have you been tearing out your Paris Hilton extensions waiting for a trailer for High School Musical 3? Then you should not be reading this site, because you are nine.

I never understood the High School Musical phenomenon because I’m really not into things that are terrible, but that was before I saw the scene where Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens sing to each other across the basketball court. That scene is amazing. Or at least, 12 seconds of that scene are amazing. I know that it’s a cliche that every generation thinks that the next generation is going to lead the planet to its final chapter, but seriously, children, no. This wholesome entertainment filled with gentle comedy and low impact drama is training you to grow up mildly content and free of cynicism. Go to your rooms and do not come out until you’re almost 30 years old and incapable of feeling joy.

Actually, I’m pretty sure we’re about to witness a deeply cynical generation of bitter misanthropes unlike any we’ve ever seen. If the great anti-establishment artistic movements of the past are any indication, smart people with higher aesthetic ambitions who grew up around this shit are going to burn entertainment to the fucking ground.

Comments (3)
  1. I think my ears are bleeding. Why did I watch that??????

  2. The Realist  |   Posted on Jul 15th, 2008 +1

    So this movie was not shot on video, but on film? And will be appearing “only in cinemas?” If this thing makes a lot of money, we’re never gonna hear the end of it. Those kids will be going to college. And I don’t want them to go to college.

  3. Calliwell  |   Posted on Jul 15th, 2008 0

    Zach Efron = Today’s Luke Perry? I mean there’s no way he’s a minor. He looks older than me, and I still get carded to buy beers at 23!

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