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Ah, this BNPG is going to be a challenge! But I think we can do it. The game is like Othello: minutes to learn, a lifetime to master. (P.S. if you actually spend your lifetime trying to master this, you lose.) Basically, come up with your own prank letter to this Christian call-in show. I’ll go first:
I was recently bitten by a radioactive spider. Now my body is going through a lot of changes. I’ve become very successful at work, and I’ve started wrestling for money in my spare time. But my uncle, Ben, was murdered. Now I am just so angry at the man who did this to him, but mostly I am just angry with myself. I know that with great power–oh, by the way, I have great power–comes great responsibility, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to accept that responsibility yet. Also, I’ve been fighting with my best friend’s dad a lot. He helped me rent an apartment, but now I think he wants to kill me. Please help!
Usually, I kill it on the Best New Party Games, much to everyone else’s shame and embarrassment I’m sure (who invited him?), but this time I am 100 percent positive that you can do better. GAME ON! (Video via @vultureblog.)
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we have a winner: http://failblog.org/2010/01/20/rickrolld-win/
Dear Sir,
I am a young man, a recent born-again Christian, and I would like to share my story with you. One day a man came to me and spoke to me. This man, who went by the name of Walker, explained to me that I was stricken with an illness. Walker went on to explain that the illness of which he spoke was AIDS.
Hi! I am bored at my job and lonely. One day while flying, I met a really cool guy named Tyler who seemed to have his life figured out and to have everything that I lacked. Tyler taught me a lot of things, like how to make soap and how to throw a haymaker (Pro Tip: there is no hay involved), but I began to feel confused. Even with a new girlfriend (she’s kind of weird, too, btw) I am still confused. I wake up with blood on my shirt sometimes, and wherever I go people seem to recognize me, like we’re in some weird secret club. Then I realized: this weird secret club is called Church. Am I Jesus?
Sincerely,
Jack
Hello,
I am a teenage girl who recently arrived in America from abroad. Before school started this year, I spent a lot of time at the beach, where I met a boy named Daniel. We had a lot of fun together and often stayed out well past our curfews. I was sure this would be just a summer fling that didn’t mean anything at all. But then school started and I found out he was in my class. At first, I was overjoyed, but to my surprise, Daniel was acting like a completely different person from the boy I fell in love with. He had an image to keep up and wouldn’t give me the time of day. Throughout the school year, I tried to gain acceptance with his group of friends, though I believe they frequently made fun of my wholesome, demure nature. So I tried to move on and maybe make him a little jealous by dating the captain of the football team. It worked and Daniel tried to win me back by taking part in school sports. So when he asked me out to the big school dance, I said yes! We spent the whole night together until his ex-girlfriend showed up! Before I knew it, she started to cha-cha with him. I was incredibly angry. But he worked hard to win me over and eventually asked me to go steady. I agreed, but when he took that as an invitation to get fresh, I was shocked and angry, so I left him. Again. But I couldn’t stay away! See, Daniel’s friends were involved in a dangerous car race they’d been preparing for all year and at the last minute, Daniel had to step in and drive for his friend who was injured. I watched from the side of the road and I was so scared for him! Thankfully, he won and while everyone was celebrating, I felt a sudden desire to change for him as much as he had tried to change for me.
My question is, do you think it’s ever OK for a girl to pretend to be something she’s not just to get a guy? I am thinking of changing my entire look for him so he’ll like me. I’m sure down deep inside that he’s the one, but I need him to prove that my faith in him is justified. Do you think we go together? What do I do? Please help!
Sincerely,
Sandra
Dear Sir or Madame,
My name is Steve. I am what some consider a war hero. During my service I fell out of a plane into the Artic waters and was thought dead, but I actually went into a coma and just recently came out of it. It’s been a few years and the world is so strange and new to me. I find myself shocked at times and confused at the way things have become. I do have some good news. I was taken in by some people who have become my friends. But as of late things are falling apart. I was recently shot by a woman that I loved, and fell into another coma. My friend Tony lost his job to one of his competitors and is now being pursued by this man so he can steal all the knowledge Tony has on his company’s dealings and research. My other friend Bruce lost his wife and it made him very angry so he went into hiding and is being persecuted by his ex wife’s father. Then there’s my friend Donald. Donald has a split personality that he has coped with for many years, however it has gotten very bad. See , his homeland was destroyed and he had a hard time coping with it. now he seems to think that his home has moved to this Midwestern town and that the people that live there are possessed by his dead family and friends. I just need to know if all these bad things are an act of God, and if so, why does he feel all this needs to happen now. My friends and I have been very loyal over the years and did the best we could to be good people and help the world. Please help. thank you for your time and consideration.
Sincerely,
Tony S.
my mistake, i meant to sign as Steve R.
Dear Sir,
I write to you today with a problem which I thought would be common to many of your viewers, but apparently this is not that case.
You see, I am the son of a once wealthy property developer.
And it has recently come to light that my father was involved in illegal activities and our family is now in a state of shock and disrepair.
Should I stick by my father or allow justice to take its course?
You see, I am the single father of teenage son, and my only wish is to set a good example for him. This is a confusing situation, because I have always taught him the principal of Christian love for ones family, in fact, I am currently providing a home for my unemployed sister and her family.
I have found it hard to find time to pray on this matter of late, because after all my fathers legal troubles, I have been very busy. I have been looking after my grief stricken mother, who has had problems with alcoholism, and my disabled younger brother, who is an army veteran.
To complicate matters even further, my OLDER brother, who I have a strained relationship with, has been trying to seduce my son into his unchristian ways; he is a practitioner of black magic, and a womanizer.
I just want what is best for my son. Teenage years are a confusing time, and I want him to know he can count on me.
Some times I feel like taking my son and just running away from my problems, but I know that would make me a chicken in the eyes of the Lord.
Please, help me find direction and reassurance.
Sincerely, M.
can i please submit this? for reals?
Please do. Just make sure it gets up on the internetz.
This is the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. I am that son. After my father was arrested for embezzling funds from our development company, my family was forced to give up their pampered lifestyle. I, the responsible one, try to keep my son from being corrupted by my acerbic mother, my older magician brother, my twin sister, my psychologist-turned-actor brother-in-law, and my niece. My younger brother and mama?s boy, also enters the mix.
I just moved with my mom and little brother into a new house in a new neighborhood. You see, my father recently died and my mom is getting really depressed having to deal with that while going back to work in this modern age of computers. Life is hard as a teenage girl! The only solace I find is in my neighbor and one true friend. He doesn’t actually say any words but my name, but it’s okay! He gets me! He’s so full of secrets and airplane arms! Major fox! Also, his uncle is Herman Munster and he almost fell on me drunk one time. Anyway, my real problem is that I let the mean girls at school throw a dodgeball point blank at my face and neither my magical boy neighbor or Natalie from The Facts of Life saved me! And for some reason the gym teacher was okay with it! Bummers!