Ah, the Golden Globes. Hollywood’s most cherished and respectable awards show. Wait, no. What are the Golden Globes again? Oh right, it is a sham contest set up by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, whatever THAT is, that has been derided and ridiculed for years as a pointless opportunity for celebrities to get drunk, because if there is one thing that celebrities lack, it is opportunities for drinking alcohol. They almost never get to have any, so it is a very special night.I guess the Golden Globes are supposed to indicate who might win the Oscar, but it’s not really very accurate, and also who cares? I mean, who cares about having a slightly better idea of who may or may not get a different award two months from now? Anyway, here we are! This year’s Golden Globes are the first ever to feature a host, and that host is Ricky Gervais, star of 2008′s Ghost Town. Oh neat! And everyone on the red carpet is wearing ribbons in honor of Haiti (UGH), so tonight is going to be very POWERFUL and MEANINGFUL, I’m sure. We will be providing up-to-the-minute coverage (the definition of “coverage” is stupid jokes about how dumb people’s faces look, right? Journalism!) on the Videogum Twitter feed, and feel free to make your own “coverage” with your fellow monsters right here in the comments!

Comments (132)
  1. Ribbons heal earthquakes.

  2. Who decides what colour the ribbon will be for each cause? Is there a committee?

  3. Do y’all follow Roger Ebert on Twitter? His Golden Globe tweets have been especially bitter/insane so far. So EXTREMELY bitter/insane. I love him, but he is completely nuts, right?

  4. Is this live comment thread being simulcast in the Videogum chat room? And where is this Videogum chat room? WERTTREW WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?

  5. Hey, more love for Ricky Gervais. Man is a genius, and will probably be the only tolerable part of tonight.

    • Ok, after actually watching his hosting abilities… eh. Thank you Angelina Jolie for providing the punchline for every joke involving impoverished children.

  6. My boyfriend looked at Tobey Maguire and said, “Oh, so that is what’s up with Topher Grace.”

  7. Nice shot at Miriah, Tina.

  8. Saying a woman’s hair looks like Leonardo DiCaprio is probably the strangest compliment I’ve ever heard.

  9. Glad to know that Ricky Gervais would rather be masturbating than hosting the Golden globes. Setting the bar high!

  10. Monique forgot to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press! Guess she won’t be back next year for Phat Girls 2 :[

  11. Well Im Just gonna say it:I think Its so sad to say “thank you god for this award” 5 days after one of the biggest catastrophies of all time

  12. Why the hell can no one find their way to the stage? was this poor planning or what?

  13. So adorable that Pete Docter was wearing a pop cap badge like the one from Up! I know V-Gum is very much Team Fantastic Mr. Fox (which is fantastic, obvs), but Up was so good!

  14. i want to have tea with ricky gervais get it cause he’s british

  15. Film related charities! No wonder Felicity Huffman isn’t wearing a Haiti bow.

  16. “Up in the Air?”
    Sounds like a movie about Conan’s future with NBC! Am I right?

  17. every time Harrison Ford speaks I feel like I’m in trouble

  18. I feel like I’m in trouble every time Harrison Ford speaks

  19. karen o, robbed by an old man and a boy scout.

    • Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  20. has someone compiled a guide to the meanings of the patches on sir paul’s ensemble?

  21. I;m on a good mood mission. so prepare for my meat-mobile

  22. Hey, hear that music? It means stop talking.

  23. Is there a special award for a movie that would have been good if half of it were left on the cutting room floor?

  24. I’m just going to get out there and say it, there hasn’t been enough Ricky.

  25. Gabe, you can’t give us chat and then complain when we use it.

  26. Ricky should replace Cowell next year on American Idol.

  27. do we give it to her for J&J or It’s Complicated? Such a Sophie’s Choice.

    • Ugh I just saw “It’s Complicated” with my parents. Old rich people giggling over Pinot Noir and Alec Baldwin? And the kid from Weeds is a terrible actor, as it turns out.

  28. for jumping into the chat, Gabe. Here’s my comment for this thread!

    • I so have been to this pizza place! It sadly took me a long time to get it. But hey, I was drunker than Ricky Gervais at the time :)

  29. I wish Abby Elliot was accepting for Meryl Streep instead. I’m realizing how spot on her impression was.

  30. Also, anyone else would’ve been orchestra cut off by now.


  31. GET OFF MY PLANE!

  32. Is this forever?

  33. SINBAD. i will be watching this. no i wont. i will be reading recaps of this maybe if something interesting happens.

  34. Where’s the vegan pie?

  35. I’d like to thank God for the opportunity to comment on the Golden Globes.

  36. Ugh, Rod Blagoiavech. Yes, I mispelled his name. No, I don’t care.

  37. Helen Mirren? More like Debbie Downer.

  38. LIFE. LIFE is the word i picked for my journaling exercise this afternoon during tea time.

  39. OMG, the British Meryl Streep!

  40. a comment for thee, lonely comment thread.

  41. did this just make six degrees of kevin bacon relevant again?

  42. hollywood makes me believe that all actors are american and i get confused when they have a british/austrailian accent.

  43. kevin bacon: thats to everyone at my table for turning a blind eye to the bowl i was smoking at the table.

  44. 6 Degrees of separation: Kevin Bacon to Ricky Gervais. GO.

  45. Haha, random Morgan Freeman wine chug.

  46. kevin bacon: thats to everyone at my table for turning a blind eye to the bowl i was smoking at the table.

  47. “lets take care of each other. peace. thank you”
    Kevin Bacon
    1964-2012

  48. drew barrymore. a real hollywood success story. we can all be proud that she turned out all right and finally took home an award. and thanked mo’nique.

  49. drew barrymores dress in made of the doozer buildings from fraggle rock. i hope there are led lights in it.

  50. what is going on with drew barrymore’s..everything

  51. Every time I hear about the Olympics, I’m going to think about Conan on Friday night.

  52. “Shrek 4ever After?” So 12 year olds are making the movies now?

  53. alec baldwin wins “best vagina grab” for its complicated, a movie which contains a scene in which he grabs meryl streep’s vagina.

  54. I bet Tarantino would do a great Leno impression. That CHIN!

  55. and the award for best childless spinster annoyed that ricky gervaise called her by the name of a character she played 10 years ago goes to gerard butler. sorry jen.

  56. I think Tarantino should have won, if only for the line “Business is a-BOOMin!” So brilliantly Tarantino-y.

  57. congrats to Devendra! up in the air!

  58. is the economy really so bad that they couldn’t afford to give both of the writers a statue?

  59. I would watch a documentary about George Clooney setting up a soundstage full of phone lines for a Haiti telethon.

  60. *Awkward pause for those who couldn’t show.*

  61. If Mathew Morrison wins an award, I’m going to vom.

  62. Harrison Ford announcing: Indiana Jones 5: The Quest for the Lost Depend

  63. What are you doing here, Harry Pot- Oh, Samuel L. Didn’t recognize you in those glasses.

  64. I feel like a total jackass for not seeing Inglorious Basterds yet

  65. i thought he said “real” and “life”

  66. Inglourious Basterds should be nominated for Best Narrator, because Samuel L. Mother Fucking Jackson.

  67. holy shit. even pete campbell has john hamm beard tonight.

  68. 500 days of TAYLOR!!!!!!!!!!!OMG

  69. First they make Taylor appear without his abs, then Chace shows up without his bangs. Tweens everywhere weep.

  70. christoph waltz is going to kill us all one day

  71. where exactly is christoph pretending he isnt from?

  72. 2010: Year of the Beard

  73. Glee won! Somewhere, Soft Gabe is saying:

    Outstanding!

  74. I would have paid good imaginary money to see the Basterds storm Mel Gibson’s speech.

  75. c’mon orchestra cats, just try to play Mike Tyson off the stage.

  76. how the hell did glee win ANYTHING what my god

    time to turn off the tv and care about the real world now

  77. “And I’d like to thank my husband as my acting has been better since meeting you.”

    Can your explain WHAT ABOUT STEVE THEN?

  78. oh RDJ, THE CHAMPION OF MY HEART.

  79. the dude abides

  80. noooo Avatar and your stupid Papyrus type.

  81. My God, everyone in the Best Picture and Best Director categories were robbed. Seriously, fuck Avatar.

  82. Ugh James Cameron. Just UGH!

  83. You know who the real Golden Globes winner of the night was? This guy:

    For being married to Mad Men‘s Christina Hendricks. He gets to play with two golden globes of his own.*

    *Apologies for the lameness/obviousness.

  84. Every time James Cameron speaks I like his movies less. He’s the worst PR person in history.

  85. also, why the hell wasn’t In The Loop nominated for best comedy/musical?

    Malcolm Tucker disapproves.

  86. Can someone please make a gif of when one of the audience cameras was on Drew Barrymore, and Jeremy Piven – no doubt sensing a camera was near but not on him – popped right into frame? Classic Piven.

  87. I remember the days when James Cameron made great movies like Aliens and Terminator 1+2 and he didn’t whore himself to get promos. The world has changed!

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