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Oh jeeeeeeez. Avatar was neat, or whatever, but this is becoming unacceptable. From CNN

James Cameron’s completely immersive spectacle “Avatar” may have been a little too real for some fans who say they have experienced depression and suicidal thoughts after seeing the film because they long to enjoy the beauty of the alien world Pandora.

SUICIDAL THOUGHTS?! “If I can’t live in a World of Warcraft expansion pack where everyone speaks with meatfist dialog and your hair is a penis then what is the point of living?!” That’s the basic argument, right? You know, the Information Superhighway has done a lot of good over the years, but I really feel like this would never have happened without the Internet. What would people have done? Written a letter to the newspaper?

“Dear Fellows,

I include herein details of my emotional state of the past fortnight concerning the adventure serial Avatar, to be reprinted forthwith and posthaste.”

No. Anyway, the CNN article included some choice quotes from these Fan Forums and I have two words for you: oh boy.

A user named Mike wrote on the fan Web site “Naviblue” that he contemplated suicide after seeing the movie.

“Ever since I went to see ‘Avatar’ I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na’vi made me want to be one of them. I can’t stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it,” Mike posted. “I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in ‘Avatar.’ “

Oh noooooooooooo. He got too many tears and shivers from it! I’m not sure that I follow his logic that he loves Pandora so much that he thinks he will “be rebirthed” there if he kills himself, though. I wonder where he thought you were reborn when you committed suicide BEFORE AVATAR WAS RELEASED THREE WEEKS AGO? Into the world of Jumanji, probably.

Also this one:

Ivar Hill posts to the “Avatar” forum page under the name Eltu. He wrote about his post-”Avatar” depression after he first saw the film earlier this month.

“When I woke up this morning after watching Avatar for the first time yesterday, the world seemed … gray. It was like my whole life, everything I’ve done and worked for, lost its meaning,” Hill wrote on the forum. “It just seems so … meaningless. I still don’t really see any reason to keep … doing things at all. I live in a dying world.”

It turns out that this kid is 17, so it kind of makes sense. I mean, he hasn’t done or worked for that much yet. This is also the reason that I am not too worried about him. I mean, don’t all 17-year-olds “live in a dying world” where they don’t see any reason to keep “doing things at all”? If it wasn’t Avatar that brought this out of him, it would have been a Paul Auster book or some bullshit.

Incidentally, this is a great example of how an otherwise reliable news source can take two fringe Internet forum postings, one of them being anonymous, and turn it into “news.” Good work, CNN. It’s weird that you didn’t have the Will.i.am hologram respond to this important breaking story. Do you just not even want a Peabody? (Thanks for the tip, Jane, Scott, and Colin.)

Comments (52)
  1. The proper way to react to Avatar, of course, is to become a Na’vi!!!!!

    FIERCE.

  2. No other possible response.

  3. Avatar made me suicidal too, because It Was TBS Very The Worst

  4. Ha ha ha – this was already funny, but then I clicked on the CNN link and saw the picture leading their story. I’m guessing the user named “Mike” is the guy eating a whole pizza straight out the box while watching the film. Eating his pizza through all the tears and shivers that is.

  5. jesus. we’d better not let these kids see metropolis, then.

  6. I remember feeling similar after Who Framed Roger Rabbit was released, when my mom had to have the very painful “You know, child, cartoons are not actually real, and you actually cannot pal around with Roger Rabbit or the taxi or any of that malarkey.” But I got over it!!!

    Actually, I didn’t. I think that must be why I drink so much. E-hugs to all my poor-grasp-of-reality-having peeps!

    • I actually cried the first time I rode a Merry-Go-Round and the horses didn’t jump off the track like they did in Mary Poppins. I was so sure it was just how things worked. But then again I was five or six and the line between fantasy and reality wasn’t totally established for me yet . . .

      I am still pretty sad I can’t do a tap dance with penguins though, so there’s that.

  7. I wear only a hemp thong at all times and can only have a meaningful relationship with my pets if I braid my hair to theirs. MLIA

  8. I felt the same way after seeing The Notebook.

  9. After I saw The Santa Clause I desperately wanted to be a Christmas elf, and then my mom reminded me that I was a Jew and didn’t even like Christmas. I think I just had a mega-crush on that lead elf, who was totally Jewish.

  10. After I saw the movie I too felt a great sadness. A sadness created by the realization that actual adult Earth humans think this movie is anything but three-dimensional garbage.

  11. i moved into my neighbors treehouse. MLIA

  12. After I saw the movie I too felt a great sadness. A sadness created by the realization that actual adult Earth humans think this movie is anything but three-dimensional garbage.

  13. What’s the big deal!? I often enjoy the world of Pandora. I know the new limitation of 40 hours a month was a bummer, but this is an overreaction…. to the max.

  14. “If they’d rather die, then they had better do it and decrease the surplus population.” – Tracy Jordan

    • Totes. This article reminded me of the only intelligent thing Jesse Ventura ever said. It had something to do with snowmobilers falling through the ice on lakes in Minnesota and natural selection.

  15. I felt like that too when I realized I couldn’t live in Middle Earth. Then I kissed a girl and it cleared that right up.

    • see, same here, but unfortunately a few life-size cardboard cutouts and an entire wall of Legolas and Aragorn dreamshots got in the way before I found a boy who would kiss me.

  16. Of course the world seems gray. You forgot to take the 3D glasses off when you left the theatre.

  17. It’s said that we live in a society in which the perfect catchphrase for a generation “self potato” is pushed aside in less than a week by more fitting “tears and shivers”. Pandora does seem like a better place.

  18. “i live in a dying world”

  19. Yeah I had a similar thing after watching Jersey Shore. I left the house and the outside world just wasn’t douchey enough for me. If you don’t believe me, go ask your mom.

  20. I guess every generation has their “Snorks”.

  21. I get sad every time I think about how I won’t live long enough to join starfleet.

  22. I actually tried killing myself after seeing Water World because I am gullible and not very good at riding a jetski. It was a future I did not want.

  23. You know James Cameron takes the fact that kids want to kill themselves because they cannot live in his movie as the highest form of praise.

  24. I fucked a horse, a bird, a chimpanzee, and a tree, in that order. MLIA.

  25. Do these peeps not remember the bite your head off soon as they look at you creatures?

  26. “Other fans have expressed feelings of disgust with the human race and disengagement with reality.”

    Sounds like a chicken or egg problem to me. Your disengagement with reality started *after* you let a movie ruin your life, you say?

  27. i remember waking up the morning after i saw Titanic and breaking off my engagement and cutting off all ties to my family. if such a pure love like the love between jack and rose can’t overcome maritime disaster then love must not exist at all. JCRL (james cameron ruins lives)

  28. don’t worry dudes, pretty soon it’ll all be casinos and discount cigarettes anyways.

  29. i contemplated suicide the moment giovanni ribisi said the word “UNOBTAINIUM.” It seemed like the only way out because I knew the overweight people with painted blue faces to my immediate right and left would not let me leave quietly…

  30. I’d heard about the hair-penises and the USB 2.0 sex, but nobody warned me about all the pterodactyl rape in that movie. I mean, yes, the sky people or whatever are awful, but why can’t we talk about how not okay the dinosaur rapists are?

  31. I went on one of those insane fan websites, where one of the threads consisted of an SERIOUS, ACTUAL conversation about the possibility of gene therapy maybe one day being used to turn ACTUAL people into Na’vi. Jesus.

  32. I wanted to commit suicide because I couldn’t die horribly on a sinking ship.

  33. I just woke up from a dream where Gabe and I were playing Super Mario Kart. How am I supposed to face reality now?

  34. Quick, someone show them Dark City so that they feel better about the world that we live in.

  35. This same sort of thing happened after people saw jingle all the way. A world without turbo man is not a world worth living.

  36. Well im gana be honest when i first saw that great movie full of magestic creatures and beatuiful landscape, im kind of going the opposite way you guys are going, I too felt a sence of dipresion the next day and it lasted for a while. I didnt want to go out with friends or do anything, keep in mind i am 15 now and was 14 at that time. Life just seamed gray like it had no adventure or excitement or any reason to stay alive. I wanted to be a Na’vi, where they were beautiful and exiting and just so simple with no electronics or anything to distract them from being one with mother nature. Eventually i just tried to get over it and tell myself it is just not possible which made me more sad and made me want to kill myself thinking, If i die maybe I could be a Na’vi in my own world. So one of my friends got me to come out like 2 weeks after staying inside and being depressed and a couple of beers and joints later I was in a good mood again and since then hevent even thaught about avatar because it just puts me in a sad mood. But i got the xbox game of it and was pretty cool so that was all i needed. But see, weed saved my life so it isnt bad you adults who say its so horrible for you. Lol i said see weed.

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