There’s nothing weird about Will Smith’s new school that he’s opening. It’s perfectly normal for Will Smith to open a school, so I don’t even know what everyone is talking about when they say that there’s something weird about it. It’s the American Dream to become a successful movie star, marry another man, and then open a school. From the AP:

Will Smith ‘s soon-to-open private school is not a Scientology facility, as some reports have suggested, the academy’s director said.

Smith and his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, have founded the New Village Academy, scheduled to open in September.

The school will use instructional methods developed by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard called study technology. And a few teachers belong to the church.

But the couple say they are not Scientologists, and the academy’s director insists the facility has no religious affiliation.

Just a ton of Scientologists getting together BY ACCIDENT to run a school that JUST HAPPENS to use teaching methods developed by L. Ron Hubbard. Haven’t you guys ever heard of a COINCIDENCE before? Saying that Will Smith’s new school is a Scientology school is irresponsible. It’s like saying something is what it is just because you’re paying attention and can tell.

Actually, that’s not even my favorite part. This is my favorite part:

In addition to reading and math, the school offers classes on yoga, robotics and etiquette.

Robotics. Sure, Will Smith. In addition to reading and math, the school offers classes in independence, bad boys, matchmaking, being a legend, and Hancock.

Will Smith’s new school is going to be the best. Children won’t be issued grades, but will simply be judged by how many Thetans they have left hanging on to their souls at the end of each semester, and on how well they can publicly deny that everything they think is crazy fucked up.

Comments (2)
  1. Oh Gabe, I’m leaving this comment so you know that this post was not written in vain.

    There, there, my child.

  2. shakes head in bewilderment  |   Posted on Sep 4th, 2009 0

    I know this was written last year but since I just fell into the deep end of the crazy pool, oops I mean Scientology I will leave a post. Absolutely hilarious, who thought anyone with a brain and basic reasoning skills could work it out…wait you must not be a scientologist, admit it, I can tell. By the way is it true that Anne Archer’s son is one of the head spokesmen for Scientology???

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