Oh jeeeeeeeez. As you probably heard over the weekend, the actress Brittany Murphy is dead at the age of 32. Of cardiac arrest? Of cardiac arrest. I mean, more likely from something that leads to cardiac arrest, but for now: cardiac arrest. Cardiac arrest! In any case, as soon as her husband stops trying to keep the state from conducting an autopsy (out of what I’m sure is just pure love for her and not anything to do with the fact that 32-year-olds in general, and 32-year-olds with lots of money and access to health care especially, don’t die from cardiac arrest, and that someone or something probably helped move that cardiac arrest along [maybe] except of course not, not with a husband who loves her this much around) we will know more. But for now, what we know is that this is CRAZY SAD*. I mean, it’s not anymore crazy sad than the hundreds of human children who die every day, or the thousands of human adults who die every day. But we don’t have TMZ headlines about those guys, so for now, let’s let Brittany Murphy’s genuinely tragic death stand in for all of the genuinely tragic deaths. (This guy does NOT know what I’m talking about.) It’s the best we can do. Here she is singing “Boogie Wonderland” from everyone’s favorite film, Happy Feet:

This is the opposite of a Christmas miracle. But we have to take some bad with the good (“we” because of how this is something that is happening to us?). Goodbye, Brittany Murphy. You will be missed. You’re in heaven now, acting in movies sometimes with the angels.

*Somehow it is sadder to me that this is the end to a pretty rough few years that saw Brittany Murphy fall from Actual Movie Star to butt of Late Night Jokes. Between her painfully obvious struggles with her weight, and general appearance (surgery?), and her diminishing movie roles, and her struggles to get back on top, things had gotten kind of shaky. And it’s morally a little awkward to think that that somehow makes this worse, since it’s mostly just sad period, not sad with qualifications. But it is sad, let’s just agree on that part.

Comments (39)
  1. Kevin Smith and I have one thing in common: We never met Brittany Murphy. That’s pretty much where it ends. I’m a little more conflicted about the “rollin’ with the homies” joke than he is (and many, many others are).

  2. 2009 was kind of a shitty year… Death wise. But than again I don’t think there are good years death wise… Shut up, Mr. Skinny Tie.

  3. I didn’t understand why this was such a big deal at first, but then it dawned on me that Brittany Murphy will never get to see Avatar.

  4. She did provide the greatest argument-ender of all time:
    Candidate #1: “I think Global Warming is a hoax.”
    Candidate #2: “You’re a virgin – who can’t drive.”

  5. Pretty crazy, they just did that SNL sketch about her (They have since pulled it off of Hulu)

  6. I wonder if Abby Elliott of SNL feels bad, super bad, or miserable about kicking Brittany when she’s down… now. I mean, I know she didn’t write the bit, she’s just the actress, but still. That was the very first thing I thought of when the death news hit: “That SNL girl must feel shitty right now!” Sucks to be her, basix.

  7. I know this isn’t the point of the post, but I am reminded of the very perplexing penguin craze that swept Hollywood and, I suppose, the nation a few years back. That scene is incomprehensible to me.

    Also check out this Canadian report of Mz. Murphy’s demise:

    http://www.ecanadanow.com/entertainment/2009/12/20/actress-britney-murphy-dead-full-cardiac-arrest/

    NAILED IT!

  8. Ugh, this news is way harsh, Tai :(

  9. “Faster Kill Pussycat” will always be a guilty pleasure. R.I.P.

  10. man, was facebook such a treasure trove of clever status updates using “clueless” quotes as soon as she passed. didn’t know i had so many comedians as friends!

    oh wait, yeah, i do not.

  11. When I die, if someone Twitters my death and uses: “2,” instead of “too,” or “to,” I will come back and haunt that person. It will not be a fun or quirky or sexy haunting.

  12. Awwww… Get ready for a groaner I just found: “Brittany Murphy is dead. Oh well, at least she can be reunited with her career now.”

  13. Looks like she was born in Atlanta (8 Miles from me?), but I didn’t know her very well. I blame her taste in men.

  14. I heard rumors that she died because oh her “horse” addiction.

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  15. About all I know is that it’s wrong for a 32-year-old to die of cardiac arrest. I ended up listening to her singing “Somebody to Love” and she had a beautiful voice. RIP.

  16. That’s way harsh, death.

  17. I have located some shitty version of the sketch from SNL. It’s not so mean.

    http://kreuzer33.wordpress.com/

  18. Here’s some thing describing how unsurprising Brittany Murphy’s death was… I find it intriguing in the way he likens her death to the death of Lindsay Lohan, as though THAT is basically inevitable.

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-12-21/brittanys-spaced-out-world

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  20. her death was a conspiracy. FIRST, the SNL skit. THEN rihanna performs her song ON SNL with the *CATCH-PHRASE “cardiac arrest”…
    COINCIDENCE?

    Hmm…

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