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Last night, Showtime broadcast the 25th annual AVN Adult Movie Awards hosted by Greg Fitzsimmons and Tera Patrick. It was two hours long, so a little shorter than the Academy Awards, but with just as many see-through mesh tops and jack off jokes. So many jack off jokes. Jack off jokes are the Disney Dollars of the AVNs, you can use them to buy refreshments in the lobby.
The best part about the ceremony was how it mirrored a mainstream awards show, but clearly was not. For example, the presenters still read poorly written banter before announcing the nominees, it’s just that the poorly written banter is about hjs and boner parties. And the final award is given for Female Performer of the Year rather than Best Film (although mad props to Upload for the win), and while Sasha Grey did cry during her acceptance speech, she also said “I don’t even cry when I get fucking electrocuted, man.” She’s been writing that speech since she was a little girl. There were also plenty of awards that were not included in the broadcast ceremony. Apparently Transsexual Series of the Year and Best Squirting Release are the Scientific and Technical Awards of the adult film industry.
A NSFW clip after the jump.
Just one of the many touching award acceptance speeches from last night.
I don’t want to boast, but I won my AVN Pool at the viewing party last night and Big Wet Asses 10‘s upset over I’ve Been Sodomized 3 definitely played a role in that victory. You owe me 40 bucks, Lindsay.
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Mr. Pete was robbed.
I love how the girl on the left can’t read as quickly as the girl on the right when announcing the winner. “Wet Asses teahaahblaehnakhfsdlaalhaha!!”
I lol’d. I’d like to be able to see the whole thing. I love that they make it all fancy and formal. I wonder who did the voice over? I’d have a hard time keeping it together when reading off such classic titles as “Big Wet Asses 10″
wow yeah that was boring. although I would think that Sasha would be the Marlon Brando of the adult movie scene and not show up because it’s beneath her. after all, she really is in a different league from the rest of those bozos. (in my dreams, right?)
Many years ago I watched this on PPV. The highlight was two female presenters, one young and one ‘seasoned.’ The younger girl was reading the nominees, squinted, and said “(name) for… Marcus Dee Sadieee?” and the seasoned pro looked at her and said, “That’s Marquis de Sade, honey.”