This is your final reminder that the Videogum Pizza Party is TONIGHT! (Duh.) If you like pizza, or you like being in a room full of strangers, or if you like pizza IN a room full of strangers, then this is the event for you! It is going to get started at 7PM at Heathers Bar, at 506 E. 13th Street in New York. This event is 21-and-over, sorry. Maybe if you are a tiny little child with undeveloped hands and feet, you can hang out at the Starbucks around the corner (I am basically just assuming there is a Starbucks around the corner, but that seems like a safe assumption). You can kill your nerves with some courage juice (courage juice for you babies = venti decaf soy latte). But the rest of you, those with a closed sagittal suture, come hang out!
Also, this is a final call for submissions to be the Videogum intern next semester. Please send your resume and a writing sample to email@example.com. We are going to read over applications in the next week or so and figure it all out. It’s like Alec Baldwin said in The Edge, “ABFIAO. Always Be Figuring It All Out.”
Finally, I know that some of you monsters cannot make it to the pizza party tonight due to prior obligations, insufficient years on Earth, or geographic limitations. Of course, I am sorry that you cannot make it, but in return, might I offer you this incredible music video by your favorite new rapper, RAED?
What a good rap! He is very good at the rap game! Incidentally, the end of that video is exactly what the Pizza Party is going to be like! “Welcome to Club Awkward.” OK, GOT 2 PUT ON MY PARTY FACE. If I am murdered tonight, this has been a lot of fun. And heaven is great! (Video via BuzzFeed.)