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Mark Wahlberg was interviewed on the red carpet at the premiere of Peter Jackson’s The Lovely Bones, and naturally, the conversation turned to Entourage, which Wahlberg created and executive produces, because you can only ask questions about horrific child-rape-murder for so long. Let’s just say he gives us all a lot of hope for the future. From Reuters:

Asked about the future of the comedy series, which recently was picked up for a sixth cycle, Wahlberg indicated that he believes there are two more seasons left in the show.

“We’ll see; there could be more,” he said at the premiere of Peter Jackson’s “The Lovely Bones,” in which he has a starring role. “But then,” Wahlberg added, “a movie.”

Who knows how many seasons of this show there will be. Mark Wahlberg feels like it has two left, but he knows as well as anyone that it could be as many as 17,000 seasons. One of the great things about Entourage is that since it never changes and is devoid of any kind of dramatic sakes or tension, you could literally keep it on the air forever and no one would know the difference. “Is this a rerun?” “I don’t have any idea.” “No one does.”

Oh but look, I am doing the same thing that Mark Wahlberg did. Ignoring the important thing you’d be most interested in hearing/talking about until so late that you’ve probably already stopped reading.

ENTOURAGE: THE MOVIE!

I wonder what the plot will be?! It will probably be something really interesting and intense, like, Johnny Drama wants to make his baby bro’s perfect breakfast, but they’re all out of Ed Hardy Eggs in the pool house, so he asks Turtle to drive him to the grocery boutique, but on the way there they accidentally fuck a couple of prostitutes in exchange for some weed, and Drama loses his wallet. The rest of the movie is a hilarious goose chase to find Drama’s wallet, but in the end, Vinnie Chase just buys Drama a new wallet. And then they all fly to Cabo and ride mini-motorcycles around in circles until the cocaine burns their dicks off. Will E come with them to Cabo? He says no, but then he does. (Sloane has been eaten. By a bear. Or a shark. Anything. Would something please eat Sloane to death?)

There’s no way for us to know what the plot to the Entourage movie will be, but we do know the tagline will be.

Entourage: The Movie
Fuuuuuuck Yoouuuuuuuu.

Because fuck us.

Comments (33)
  1. Isn’t that the plot of the Tucker Max movie?

  2. So. Too soon for WMOAT nomination?

  3. Is this the line for the Jersey Shore post?

  4. i actually thought this season was ok. the first two were great. the next two were awful. this one was a bit better…the movie seems pretty spot on besides from Vinny most likely dating Megan Fox.

  5. K  |   Posted on Dec 4th, 2009 +12

    I have successfully avoided this show for the entirety of its run, and wow, does it always sound bizarre when people describe it.

    • the first two seasons do a good job of straddling the line between glorifying hollywood and completely mocking it. they also happen to be relatively funny and the characters are relatively likeable. i’d say it’s worth watching if you can ignore all the negativity you’ve heard about it.

  6. So lemme guess – Ari and Lloyd finally consummate their relationship and cut the bullshit?

  7. K  |   Posted on Dec 4th, 2009 +22

    Also:

    “But then,” Wahlberg added, “a movie. Say hi to your mother for me.”

  8. PAH-leeze don’t do this, Marky Mark.

  9. I have never seen this show.
    Penis.

  10. Will Ari narrate the whole thing in a voice over? He can be the moral compass! Because you know, no cheating.

  11. I think Jeremy Piven’s wig is on sideways there

  12. Francis Ford Coppola, so impressed by Vince’s turn as Enzo Ferrari in “Ferrari,” offers Vince the starring role in his new biopic of Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Vince clashes with Coppola about using a wheelchair, but eventually Coppola acquiesces, and the movie is rewritten with FDR on a segway during the third act. Naturally, the movie becomes the most successful movie ever.

    Elsewhere, Drama fucks the actress playing Eleanor Roosevelt, I’m thinking either Taylor Swift or Kaley Cuoco.

  13. Entourage: The Longest Episode Ever

  14. Marky – do it Curb-style and give us a mercury poisoning sideplot.

  15. I read somewhere that Wahlberg was considering making Sloane a regular cast member “so all the female Entourage fans know that the jokes and themes of the show are compatible to them.”

  16. Alternate tagline:

    Entourage: The Movie
    FUCKING SHIT PISS COCK FUCK GODDAMNIT FUCKING HELL
    FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

  17. Dear Gabe,

    I don’t think everyone will get the fancy journalism terms you put in your “hed.” What is this, PoynterGum?

    Love,
    Your Editor

    P.S. Marky Mark’s nut grafs are soooo tender.

  18. PAH! Everything works out in the end and then my friends and I look out over the city lights at night whilst toasting with drinks. MLIE (My Life is Entourage)

    • I ran out of Ed Hardy vodka and was momentarily worried about the bumpin’ rager at my giant mansion but then I remembered that I am an obscenely wealthy movie actor and I can literally buy whatever I want whenever I want. Then I had sex with three models at once, MLIE

    • best new party game plllleeeasseeee

  19. Why isn’t anyone talking about the Sex and the Entourage inevitable crossover movie/miniseries.

  20. Funny you should mention dramatic sakes, I was just out doing dramatic sake bombs last night! (you wrote sakes instead of stakes)

  21. With the bromantic Christian side hug picture up top there, I thought this article (yes, article) was going to be about Marky Mark porking a guy… I thought “lede” was British for penis. Like, “bury the lede” is Cockney slang for he’s burying his ding-dong in Piven’s derriere.

  22. It’s gonna be a movie about making a movie, they’ll call it Singing in the Rain

  23. You know they’d up the stakes for the movie, guyz:

    Drama and Turtle realize that they are both HIV-positive from that three-way at Sundance. They spend the film telling every minor character they’ve slept with since then the horrifying news. Eric kills Sloane in a fit of rage because she tries to give him career advice. Since Ari is too busy gay-bashing Lloyd, he doesn’t realize Vince is developing a serious coke problem. Uh oh, Vince lost his millions on drugs and buying Nic Cage’s islands (Nic Cage cameo, obvs)! He is going to have to do “Aquaman 3″!

    But wait, just then, Kanye West, Bill Clinton and Richard Branson show up in a fancy plane and the boys are going to…SPACE! While up there, the HIV clears up, Clinton pardons E and there is also plenty of coke. And BONUS!, the stewardesses on the space shuttle are giving out blowjobs to movie stars. “Not TV stars though.” Oh, Drama.

    “It’s gonna be a great summer!” they all say in unison. Roll credits.

  24. For people who seem to dislike “Entourage,” some of you sure seem to know a lot about “Entourage.” It’s like the Entourage Institute up in this bitch.

  25. You guys, the movie will be just like this, but you know, with boys in it.

  26. I will eat Sloane to death.

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