Whoa, check out this awesome new still from the upcoming Sex and the City 2 movie! (Or is it Sex and the City: The Movie 2? I’m not sure, but I bet it’s something worth spending hours trying to figure out!) What a cool, interesting image that suggests a movie that is going to be both smart and fun.

FUUUUUUUCK.

Look, I know that I’m not the intended audience for Sex and the City and never have been, but am I missing something? This is just a picture of two rich assholes! Like, the tension of this movie is literally “will she make sure to never spill anything on that handbag? And will their doorman really watch their car while they run upstairs to get more $100 bills? Find out in Sex and the City 2: The Movie!” And I recognize that Sex and the City was always about an aspirational fantasy for women to find love and success on their own terms in the big city, or whatever, which I get, because I have aspirations too: to put as many bullets through my computer screen as possible. But is turning your back on everything that you’ve worked so hard for in order to marry a rich man who has jerked you around for the past 10 years, or whatever, really the aspirational fantasy that women want in 2009? Oh, it is? Fair enough. I just need one…more…bullet.

LET ME HEAR YOU IN THE BACK, LADIIIEEEEEEES! (Image via LatinoReview.)

*Sarcasm.

Comments (73)
  1. The suspense is killing me! Why did they open the trunk? What’s in there!?!?

  2. SHOPPING!!!!! Eeeeeek! Yes! OMG!

  3. I always thought the intended audience was “people who need to have the plot explained every few moments” but “aspirational”? Huh? Well, you learn something new everyday.

  4. I have many handbags. MLISATC2.

    • Today, I attempted to come up with a witty MLIT comment for Videogum. After thinking about it for a bit, and reading all the other great posts, I eventually just posted an okay one from the site. It only got 4 up arrows. MLAAVM (My Life As A Videogum Monster. MLIT just got meta, yo)

  5. Please no more suicide jokes, like the one in this post and all the posts with the animated gif of the woman that shoots herself in the head. I agree that the rape jokes are bad. Why is suicide need to be part of the videogum jokes?

    • Indeed, why is need? (Just kidding, but that GIF is abhorrent. No moresies.)

    • “I’ll surrender my penchant for violent hyperbole when you pry it from my cold dead fingers” – Gabe’s Tombstone

      • Does that tiny monkey represent Terrorbull, trying to pry violent hyperbole from Gabe’s cold, dead fingers? Yeah, it does.

        • clare, that is CLEARLY a small sloth. stan is a sloth. that’s his whole schtick. stan is a handsome young male sloth, and that is perhaps a baby picture of him.

    • chillz Terrance Howard. this one wasn’t even that bad.
       
      and he wasn’t specific. He didn’t say bullet + gun + my face = eternal sunshine. maybe Gabe is saving that fictional bullet for fictional Carrie Bradshaw herself? which is not cool because i don’t support fictional violence against fictional women. Unless that girl is stupid. MLIT.

    • If you don’t like to laugh at awful things, I don’t think Videogum is the place for you.

      • And if you take one of those bullets, let it soak in a pot, add salt… baby, you got a stew goin!

      • Seriously dude? I love to laugh at horrible things, that’s why I’m here. I don’t love being constantly reminded of tragedies that occur in far too many people’s lives.

        • Maybe I just have a darker sense of humor than most. Of course suicide is never funny. I know from personal experience. Still, I don’t think the humor (if you think it’s funny) ever comes from laughing at suicide, but the hyperbolic reactions to mostly inconsequential things.

          To me, it’s like saying Asher Roth makes you want to stab your ears off or Nicolas Cage movies make you want to gouge your eyes out, but taking it a step further.

          • But the thing is those statements can remain cartoonish and slap stick to me because they are. But when I scroll down the page and graphically see a woman shoot herself in the head I can no longer distance myself from it.

          • I swear I’m not trying to argue, and in a sense I agree with you, but I think that gif is incredibly cartoonish. The look on her face, the cute little wave goodbye, the slapsticky fall after the shot, perineum, etc.

    • NEVER FORGET

      • wtf is this from? why does everyone use it? why does everyone who doesn’t use it hate it? DEFINE THIS GIF.

        • I feel like it’s from the Black Dahlia. The scene (spoilers, if you’d even consider watching that garbage of a movie like I did) where basically they find out who the murder is and it turns out she is batshit insane and kills herself infront of her daughter (Hilary Swank?) and her daughters love interest. Or something. I don’t really recall.

          It was one of those movies where I had watched enough of it to feel that it would have been just a waste of time not to finish it, and I didn’t want it to win…

          As for the suicide part, a lot of us know people who have killed themselves or have been touched by it in some way, and while it is a very serious issue, it’s just an expression. My sister is disabled, but I don’t get upset and try to change peoples thoughts when they say something is retarded.

          Just don’t take it so personally. That’s my advice. It’s not directed at you or made for the sole purpose of upsetting you.

    • Well, I guess shooting bullets into his computer would be like killing his brain and committing suicide. But if his computer is his brain, then that makes us his brain trust. Maybe he should just kill all of us. Or just me. I’m so lonely. Is that a suicide reference or a murder reference? Drano tastes like Scope, Pepto-Bismol and PopRocks. Ugh. Time for kitteh vids!

    • Because, suicide/rape jokes are MUCH too cool for any other website, they’re like one in a million!

  6. if we make it through 2012, we’ll eventually end up having this same conversation about a screen shot from the second Entourage movie.
    America knows what America wants years before America wants it.

  7. I like Carrie’s shoes.

  8. At least us men only aspire to mooch off our good-looking actor friend.

  9. For some reason I thought this was going to be a women be shoppin post and all of a sudden it turned into a Gabe taking a feminist stand against the plot of the character of Carrie Bradshaw. Well done sir.

    On that note I have no soul and will probably watch this movie at some point with a girlfriend and giggle.

  10. Sing it Brother! Juggalos fa life son! Fuck the mainstream and fuck them richie bitches and hoes!

  11. no. i think there’s a baby in that bag. it’s what the natives call a papoose…
     
    except it turns out that “papoose” means “baby” and not a “baby carrier”…hmm. same dif?

  12. Anyone else think that the doorman in the screenshot is telling the male asshole where to look? “she’s actually in motion, sir. a little to the left. nope, YOUR left. there you go.” that’s what he is like.

  13. Oh cool! These people just ruined the E-63 AMG for me, and I didn’t even have to watch the trailer. Thanks guys!

  14. IMDB has way more ridiculous photos…

  15. Sarah Jessica Parker’s face looks like the front of that Mercedes. Gross.

  16. The more I looked at the tags for this post, the funnier they got.

  17. Obvs you never saw the first SATC because there was REAL PROBLEMS like hello being left at the altar OMFG!! And also Miranda and Steves sex life went down the tubes and so Steve CHEATED on her. Life can be hard for rich white women, just sayin’.

  18. SO MUCH HORSEPOWER IN ONE PICTURE!

  19. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  20. Gabe, this post is why I wanted you to do SATC for WMOAT. But I just didn’t have the fire in my belly to crusade for it the way I did for The Last Kiss, so I guess it will never come to fruition.

    That bag is hideous.

  21. OOH!
    Are those “Stupid Lampskin” shoes she has on?!
    Trés sheik!

    • …(très chic, but I think i like sheik better)….

      • Thank you, I googled some spellings, and thought I found it. I love to spell things correctly. Oh well! I will try harder next time!

        • I’m going to pronounce it Sheik now and hope that people get the reference. It seriously made me laugh so hard because it put such a funny image in my mind….a chic sheik….

  22. Is that Mister Big in a T-shirt?
    I do not like Mister Big in a T-shirt. More sleeves please!

  23. *alright-looking

  24. Is it ever winter on this show? It’s like some perpetual NYC summer…

    • Actually, and I’m sorry for knowing this and for how I came to know it, yeah, they always set the show in spring/summer except for one season immediately following 9/11, as a way of acknowledging the tragedy and its effect on the city a.k.a. the “fifth main character” on the show, according to the director’s commentary on the DVDs. I liked this show all right when I was 21, OK?

      TMYK.

      • No way! Like, what about the time when Carrie was riding through the park with Barishnikov on a horse and buggy and Miranda went into labour and Barishnikov bribed the carriage driver to drive straight to the hospital across the snowy city streets! And then Miranda’s water broke all over Carrie’s shoes AHAHAHAAHA!

        • I’m so confused now.

        • It was Mr Big, not Barishnakov that time. I knew this off the top of my head. And yes, I’m ashamed, and no, I’ve not seen the first movie.

          • See, the whole time I was writing that, I was thinking, “No, no, that was Big.” But then I thought, “No, it had to be Barishnikov, because she wasn’t with Big at the time,” but then: “Yes, but that was a plot pivot, so it had to have been Big.” Point is we all watch this effing show, and I’ll see you all at the movie opening night.

        • That was post- the first “official post-9/11 episode,” after the door had been opened for changes in season.

  25. Sex and the City 2: The Legend of Curly’s Gold

  26. what does the blue Steve Martin body have in the red bag?

  27. Is that Jean-Claude Van Damme?

  28. not what we want

  29. I am equal parts excited for this movie and ashamed about being excited for this movie. Life is hard.

  30. How much weight did Sarah Jessica have to gain to get into character?

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.