christian_side_hug.jpg

Today, well not today, but tomorrow, but kind of today, is about reflecting on the past year and putting things back into perspective, because life is precious, and God, and turkey, and your family, and the Bible. It’s also about the spirit of sharing and generosity, and engaging in the social construct with your fellow man. It started when the pilgrims set aside their smallpox blankets for one day, and provided the savage Indians with mashed smallpox and candied smallpox. So who am I to stare into the face of this tradition and deny giving my fellow man (or woman! We are all super equal now give or take a couple of glass ceilings, political movements against some of us’s right to marry, and institutional racism). And so, here is what you want, clearly. Give you dat Christian Side Hug!

Thanks for the tip, Daniel, Zach, Paul, Chris, and Carolyn!

Comments (74)
  1. I bet all the gunshot sounds and police sirens convinced the audience just how rough these riders filled with Christ’s love really are. Or maybe they figured they needed all the garbage on the track to mask the audible laughs and groans…

  2. “Brethern, greet one another with a holy side hug” –St Paul, probably

  3. I need to go watch the Muppets again to cleanse my brain palate.

  4. If 12 years of Catholic school taught me anything, it’s that the Holy Ghost is a total playa hata.

  5. Oh yeah, I know about this. I think it’s pretty much directed at guys exclusively, because if you front-hug a girl, you know, you’re ALWAYS just doing it so she will rub her boobs on your chest. And then your clothed genitals and what-nots will rub because, you know, LUST! And since they believe that girls aren’t interested in sex, girls will continue to give you front-hugs, so guys should always be on their guard and them before they get too close. And also because “EWWW, a PENIS!”

  6. You’re being really inappropriate right now, Front Hugger.

    Seriously? If you were such a rough rider, you’d be able to keep your boner in check just because someone put both their hands on your back.

  7. How badly do you have to get embarrassed in rap battles early in your career as an aspiring hip-hop artist to think that joining this group is all you have left?

  8. Did anyone else notice that the synth in the background is the Imperial March?

  9. “I’m buying babies like Angelina Jolie!”

    How is that Christian?
    What does that even mean?

  10. I thought Seth Green was Jewish

  11. Isn’t touching hip-to-hip a little too risky? Probably best to just touch butts.

  12. i can’t wait for the scandal when one of these rough ryders is caught on camera front hugging a gay guy at a truck stop

  13. Just the other day, I got a re-up on side hugs.

  14. Among other things, Jesus would be disappointed with the choreography.

  15. Thanks to this instructional video, now I know I’ve been doing wrong all these years.

  16. The Annointed Humpty Dance, among other subcultural offshoots, is something to behold.

  17. So THAT’S what Scott Stapp was doing in that tape when he said it wasn’t sex…

  18. You crazy for this one, God.

  19. Did they hire the two big guys in the back to simply stand there? I like that one of them is just standing motionless in front of a keyboard.

  20. nice Mr. Show reference Gabe

  21. Someone take them to jail.

    I think a few rounds of the prison back hug will teach them a lesson.

  22. Hmm. So, convinced that this video was a joke even before I watched it, I went and googled and now I’m pretty sure that this is not QUITE as ridiculous as it seems.

    Like, clearly this is a Comedy Fake Rap, but less clearly, it is an attempt to make light, in song, of an actual “no PDA” policy at the xian youth conference where this performance is taking place. (Here is their comedy fake rap about not bringing food or beverages into the sanctuary.) So really they’re just trying to ban front-hugs at the conference, so that it doesn’t, like every other gathering of young people in the world, turn into a gathering of face-sucking ass-groping teens, because nobody wants to see that, except me, which is why I have these binoculars, and this van with dark tinted windows.

    In other words, the Internet has been PUNK’D AGAIN, this time by actual Christians being semiïntentionally, instead of unintentionally, funny.

  23. Guess its still better than the The Jewish Rear Look Of Disappointment & Shame

  24. Wow. This is horrible (first instinct was to say “god-awful”). This is as far from the real point of Christianity as Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are from good acting.

    zing? or was it a topical stretch?

  25. These crazy boners need a Satanic Sideswipe to the head.

  26. i want to be all defensive about this video and commentary. As a christian in youth ministry i get that this is a joke and is in no way a serious thing, but more of a satirical commentary on the christian ridiculousness out there that is becoming prevalent. These types of over characterization of christian BS is common among groups such as youth for Christ and Young life. that being said, yes this ricockulous and silly. it is what it is. so let it be written, so let it be done.

  27. My cousin in Kansas City got pregnant from a side hug.

  28. The Conservative Voice in November 2009 (Come on. The hook is kind of bangin’) > The Conservative Voice in May 2009 “See Here”

  29. Jesus wants the hugging to STOP!

  30. I love it how the audience all boooo at the mention of Barack Obama. Sigh. Why won’t anyone believe he’s a straight-up Christian?

  31. I wonder what camera they used. Their audio is way better than any other concert video I have seen at youtube.

  32. Gimme that Christian side-hug, in case there are no gay people there.

  33. HEY MAYBE I’m just fuckin CRAZY BUT does that synth LINE IN THE song sound like THE LEAD TRUMPETS of the GODDAMNED Imperial MARCH?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bzWSJG93P8

    GIMME DAT Christian COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT.

  34. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? This just proves that the only good white rappers are Eminem and Vanilla Ice…somebody say amen.

  35. turkey time  |   Posted on Nov 25th, 2009 +1

    mmmmm, candied smallpox.

  36. Before I found God I wanted to be a stupid lamp

  37. cat lover  |   Posted on Nov 25th, 2009 0

    I think side hugs are illegal in some states?

  38. Jennifer  |   Posted on Nov 25th, 2009 +1

    Does this have anything to do with jerkin?

  39. I know it’s wrong but, I wouldn’t mind front hugging the girl on the right if you know what I mean ;)

  40. I’m sort of partial to the Satanic rear hug, amiright y’all? This guy knows what I’m talking about. This guy DEFINITELY knows what I’m talking about.

  41. Maybe their baptist. Our baptist youth camp when I was a kid had a sign up in the hall stating “No dancing”.

    I don’t remember a sign warning about front hugs but maybe we were all too young to know of such evil.

  42. because Christ.

  43. Gimme that Christan side hug, but do it quick, the cops are coming.

  44. What a Bunch of Neden Holes.

  45. @ 3:15 there is a vastly underrated gem:

    “So if you end up here, then go ahead and scream it/ when I hug YOU i leave room for the HOLY SPIRIT!”

    And by “holy spirit,” he undoubtedly means the rough-yet-knowing hands of a priest.

  46. that ain’t no side hug…

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