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I shouldn’t even be here right now. I SHOULD BE GETTING INTO MY COSTUME! If I don’t hurry, my facepaint won’t be dry before I get to the MOONVIE theater, and everyone will be like “hahah, you look like you’re only 3,000 years old!?” I would die from embarrassment, IF I WASN’T ALREADY DEAD. And if I could feel emotions, like embarrassment. This guy knows what I am talking about. TEAM GHOSTS!

Anyway, got to run FLY. (Get it? You get it! DRACULAS!) After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments of the week, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, and the Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#4

Maybe the black people are in the suitcase.

Posted by: dUb-iLL in response to Couples Retreat Somehow Gets Worse
Score = 67

#3

No, Gabe, I will not download your blog.

Posted by: Dish in response to The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Twilight: New Moon
Score = 73

#2

Rape-Rape

Who’s There?

Posted by: dUb-iLL in response to An Open Letter To The Ladies Of The View On The Subject Of Rape
Score = 80

#1

Posted by: rileygrime in response to The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Twilight: New Moon
Score = 103

[Ed. note: I was going to make a special "award" for the best comment from the Twilight: New Moon caption contest, but you guys took pretty good care of that. DEMOCRACY IN ACTION. Good work, everyone. All hail President LeStat!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

Fuck you negative nellies, those Vampire loving retards look grossly out of shape on the whole. I guess I got downvoted by some Fat Twilight Mom trolling the gum boards. Or my own personal trolls. Thank you for your support assclowns.

Posted by: DS3M in response to The Twilight: New Moon Premiere: Fun Signs, Guys!
Score = -38

[Ed. note: Oh, DS3M. Come on, now. I know that the line between what people think is funny and what people think is offensive can be hazy and thin, but you still have to walk it! And you can't yell at the line when you fall on the wrong side! I just don't know who you are mad at, unless it is everyone? And that doesn't seem fair. Hush now. Live to fight another day, DS3M.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! This is like the coolest time to be alive ever!!!

Posted by: annoyingmouse in response to Videogum’s Teen Korner: Now Wut?

[Ed. note: I KNOW!!!!!!!!!]

Comments (79)
  1. So lemme splain

  2. The lawyers must have said, “No.” That’s ok. Thanks for the upvotes, monsters. And thanks, to Gabe for allowing us to throw him under the bus so often.

  3. Good job, everyone! I’ll see you all at the NEW MOON theater this weekend! Don’t forget your shirt!

  4. i luv monsters ball cause i can say something stupid without fear of being lowest rated comment so here goes… how do i find the chat i just up and lost it!

  5. Gabeshopping is always full of win.

    • Creepy win, but we just can’t resist it. Much like Twilight, apparently.

      • absolutely agree. But the set up was just too irresistible. anyhow I don’t think gabe is sitting in his room crying about the cruel monsters on the videogum board or worried about the private detective we’ve hired to collect personal information about him. right?

    • Remember that period of a couple of weeks this summer when we all went Gabeshopping crazy? It came and went awfully fast. That was an odd little meme breeze.

  6. I’m team Twilight because she is hot.

  7. my commenter of the week [cue harp strings being plucked]:
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

  8. OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! This is like an even cooler time to be alive ever!!!

  9. I think I’ll go see Twilight Saga: Olde Moon tonight. Moon = English 800.

  10. Sometimes there is just no competing with a well-placed gif, an iapropos photoshop, Gabe snipes, social commentary, or a rape-rape joke.

  11. This place has gone bats for GIFs lately. Is there any reason why so many–

    FREEZE!!!

  12. Sat on the sidelines this week for the most part. I do that sometimes. Still cheering you everyday monsters on though!

    Also, part of me wishes I were going to see New Moon ironically just so I could ask the person at the box office one ticket for “The Twilight” and see their reaction.

  13. I’m like overheating right now. It might be a fever, but I’m thinking it’s just all the NEW MOON in the air!!

  14. Thanks for all the LOLz and HaHaz this week, Gabe & Monsters. Hope yallz have a sweet weekend! +z

    • Your #2 comment gave me lots and lots of loves. After I wrote “rape-rape jokes”, that was the first thing that popped in my head, but seeing it in writing made it infinitely funnier. Thanks. I’m still chuckling about it.

      • And the photoshopped Gabes still creep me out.

      • I couldn’t have done t without you… literally. You get my +1 to the ball, That One… Stay Hot, Sonny!

      • And I feel proud to have started the whole shebang. Actually, that One, your downvoting fun kicked off my case of the crazies, so I really couldn’t have done it without you this week also. My thanks for puttin me at the bottom of the monsters ball (no homo)

  15. I’ve been so busy having fun at dinner and jumping into life these past two weeks that I haven’t been keeping up with this place at all. It’s insane how out of the loop you feel when you miss a few posts. Already you monsters have strange new inside jokes that scare and confuse me. Outoftheloopgum.com is no fun. I guess I need to build a time machine and KILL HITLER and catch up on some reading.

    Oh, and I’m not sure if anyone else has posted a link to this, but watch it and thank me later.

  16. My teenage sister says new moon is better than twilight because of all the shirtless (underage) beefcake. Miley Cyrus didn’t like it, what a cunt(ry singer).
     
    I can’t wait to see you all at the movies! (I’ll be in the line for Planet 51! WOOT!)

  17. I’m loving all the rape-rape jokes and Bradford Cox love (my personal indie rock crush gummy award recipient because duh) in this thread, but am i the only one that was super disappointed that there was no V recap this week? This show is so awful, but it doesn’t really exist in my head unless I read a tremendously funny overview a day or two later.

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