
I shouldn’t even be here right now. I SHOULD BE GETTING INTO MY COSTUME! If I don’t hurry, my facepaint won’t be dry before I get to the MOONVIE theater, and everyone will be like “hahah, you look like you’re only 3,000 years old!?” I would die from embarrassment, IF I WASN’T ALREADY DEAD. And if I could feel emotions, like embarrassment. This guy knows what I am talking about. TEAM GHOSTS!
Anyway, got to run FLY. (Get it? You get it! DRACULAS!) After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments of the week, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, and the Editor’s Choice.
This Week’s Highest Rated Comments


Posted by: werttrew in response to Charlie Sheen Wants To Give You $$$ To Pretend He Is Normal
Score = 61

Maybe the black people are in the suitcase.
Posted by: dUb-iLL in response to Couples Retreat Somehow Gets Worse
Score = 67

No, Gabe, I will not download your blog.
Posted by: Dish in response to The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Twilight: New Moon
Score = 73

Rape-Rape
Who’s There?
Posted by: dUb-iLL in response to An Open Letter To The Ladies Of The View On The Subject Of Rape
Score = 80


Posted by: rileygrime in response to The Videogum Why Don’t YOU Caption It? Contest: Twilight: New Moon
Score = 103
[Ed. note: I was going to make a special "award" for the best comment from the Twilight: New Moon caption contest, but you guys took pretty good care of that. DEMOCRACY IN ACTION. Good work, everyone. All hail President LeStat!]
This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

Fuck you negative nellies, those Vampire loving retards look grossly out of shape on the whole. I guess I got downvoted by some Fat Twilight Mom trolling the gum boards. Or my own personal trolls. Thank you for your support assclowns.
Posted by: DS3M in response to The Twilight: New Moon Premiere: Fun Signs, Guys!
Score = -38
[Ed. note: Oh, DS3M. Come on, now. I know that the line between what people think is funny and what people think is offensive can be hazy and thin, but you still have to walk it! And you can't yell at the line when you fall on the wrong side! I just don't know who you are mad at, unless it is everyone? And that doesn't seem fair. Hush now. Live to fight another day, DS3M.]
This Week’s Editor’s Choice
OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! This is like the coolest time to be alive ever!!!
Posted by: annoyingmouse in response to Videogum’s Teen Korner: Now Wut?
[Ed. note: I KNOW!!!!!!!!!]
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So lemme splain

What I’m sayin is I love you monstahs,
SOUFF SIDE
gross
me an my dranks know what you talkin bout
DS3M, this is a really gross gif, and totally inappropriate. Maybe you should try a gif of something that everybody will love, without question. For example, delicious fruity SNAPPLE.
I Gotchu

Excellent use of “assclowns” though. It’s not everyday that you get to use that word.
I get to use it everyday, don’t worry. Chicago is loaded w em. I’m 1/2 of one. A half-assclown
In all seriousnessI had a good time, Smell you next week, a NEW MOON week
GENERIC AND BLATANTLY PANDERING COMMENT

This is probably my favorite gif ever.
I don’t know what it says about me that my favorite gif involves He-Man ejaculating on children and animals, but when I typed that, it kinda worried me.
I guess my childhood was literally raped.
Literally raped or rape-raped?
HA! Another good rape joke!
That would be a lot funnier if half of those weren’t you know, kids and animals.
No. No it wouldn’t.
I got Tom Cruise though. And we know how he HATES gays.
You don’t have to be gay to bust a nut in another dude’s face.
i keep trying to explain that to my husband, but i don’t think i’m making any progress at all.
The lawyers must have said, “No.” That’s ok. Thanks for the upvotes, monsters. And thanks, to Gabe for allowing us to throw him under the bus so often.
Good job, everyone! I’ll see you all at the NEW MOON theater this weekend! Don’t forget your shirt!

Does that shirt come in women’s?
Nope.
and neither does anyone that would wear it.
Oh, I sell these! They only come in women’s. Do you think there’d be any interest in a youth size?
This was a joke! I don’t actually sell them, you guys! They’re still in shipping, but once they arrive at my Twilight merchandise store, I will send out a mass e-mail! Sheesh.
i luv monsters ball cause i can say something stupid without fear of being lowest rated comment so here goes… how do i find the chat i just up and lost it!
http://videogum.com/chat/
It’s pretty boring in there. Every time I log in there’s nothing going on.
You think you’d get the hint, right?
(JK! No hard feelings from me
)
Gabeshopping is always full of win.
Creepy win, but we just can’t resist it. Much like Twilight, apparently.
absolutely agree. But the set up was just too irresistible. anyhow I don’t think gabe is sitting in his room crying about the cruel monsters on the videogum board or worried about the private detective we’ve hired to collect personal information about him. right?
Remember that period of a couple of weeks this summer when we all went Gabeshopping crazy? It came and went awfully fast. That was an odd little meme breeze.
The Megan Fox and the yellow rose one was my favorite.
I’m team Twilight because she is hot.
i saw this book yesterday. and you now somehow made sense of my life.
my commenter of the week [cue harp strings being plucked]:

OMG more like heart strings being plucked! this pic is almost as cute as the one of him my English teacher Ms. Sous has behind her desk!
>English
>Ms. Sous
just give up brah, and don’t come back until you have your facts straight
(ps. the teacher he is referring to has a count down to new moon on her board)
I was dramaticizing! Oh my god ur being such a mom right now!!
Okay, is that a shadow in the back of his head, or is it the most ridiculous hat I’ve ever seen? Either way, RPATTZ iz sooo punk rawk!!1! hez wering a tie wit a winte4r hatt!!! he dont play by no rulez lol!! cuz he iz a drakula!! he can suk my blud anyday lol
Ugh, I’ve just posted far too many times to not feel awkward about it. TalbainJ, out!
OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! This is like an even cooler time to be alive ever!!!
I think I’ll go see Twilight Saga: Olde Moon tonight. Moon = English 800.
dude olde e is my exact plan for tonight! soulmates?
Sometimes there is just no competing with a well-placed gif, an iapropos photoshop, Gabe snipes, social commentary, or a rape-rape joke.
This place has gone bats for GIFs lately. Is there any reason why so many–
FREEZE!!!
Thanks for ruining my life, GIFSoup. There’s not a remote big enough to shove up my ass right now.
This comment is the best kind of surreal now, if you take away the hotlinking gifs picture.
Sat on the sidelines this week for the most part. I do that sometimes. Still cheering you everyday monsters on though!
Also, part of me wishes I were going to see New Moon ironically just so I could ask the person at the box office one ticket for “The Twilight” and see their reaction.
This is the greatest thing you have ever done Kenny. This is your Deerhunter.
The pig’s name is Kingsford. Super cute little guy….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JruylU429E
So I take it you’re not a fan of Atlas Sound? BOOM!
No I liked Logos alot. I get your joke, and I’m pretty sure you got my reference, but I felt I still felt it necessary to assure everybody that I liked Atlas Sound. Both I and my relationship to the internet is weird.
Your relationship to the correct usage of “I” and “me” is perfectly healthy, though! Grammar-kahdooz!
Oops, might wanna work on your relationship to the correct usage of “is” and “are” though. Didn’t see that. Okay, I am a bitch.
Someone call the comment police because that gif stole my heart.
Are they at all affiliated with the Shark Police?
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just saw Twilight, all the screaming girls must have gotten to my brain.
I’m like overheating right now. It might be a fever, but I’m thinking it’s just all the NEW MOON in the air!!
Haha wait no. It’s a fever.
i wonder if vampires get the flu… cause of being dead already, and all…
Thanks for all the LOLz and HaHaz this week, Gabe & Monsters. Hope yallz have a sweet weekend! +z
Your #2 comment gave me lots and lots of loves. After I wrote “rape-rape jokes”, that was the first thing that popped in my head, but seeing it in writing made it infinitely funnier. Thanks. I’m still chuckling about it.
And the photoshopped Gabes still creep me out.
I couldn’t have done t without you… literally. You get my +1 to the ball, That One… Stay Hot, Sonny!
And I feel proud to have started the whole shebang. Actually, that One, your downvoting fun kicked off my case of the crazies, so I really couldn’t have done it without you this week also. My thanks for puttin me at the bottom of the monsters ball (no homo)
I’ve been so busy having fun at dinner and jumping into life these past two weeks that I haven’t been keeping up with this place at all. It’s insane how out of the loop you feel when you miss a few posts. Already you monsters have strange new inside jokes that scare and confuse me. Outoftheloopgum.com is no fun. I guess I need to build a time machine and KILL HITLER and catch up on some reading.
Oh, and I’m not sure if anyone else has posted a link to this, but watch it and thank me later.
I’d have to agree with you. My head most definately gets stuck in the yogurt cup from time to time.
I like this better than Manstyle! Electric keys… Haha.
JITTERBUG
My teenage sister says new moon is better than twilight because of all the shirtless (underage) beefcake. Miley Cyrus didn’t like it, what a cunt(ry singer).
I can’t wait to see you all at the movies! (I’ll be in the line for Planet 51! WOOT!)
I’m loving all the rape-rape jokes and Bradford Cox love (my personal indie rock crush gummy award recipient because duh) in this thread, but am i the only one that was super disappointed that there was no V recap this week? This show is so awful, but it doesn’t really exist in my head unless I read a tremendously funny overview a day or two later.
Is the cat Gabe and the car rileygrime?
aww! that is so sad!