Nope. No. Nunh-unh. “But Gabe, they have a website.” So? Everyone has a website. Your mom has a website. It’s called htttp://www.mommyshomepage.com, and she hasn’t updated it in nine months. What is up with her, anyway? (Thanks for the tip, Adam and Antonia.)

Comments (45)
  1. My mom is good… still popular in syndication. Thanks for asking, G.

  2. I can’t wait for the super secret bonus level where you jerk off a priest in a confessional.

  3. Did I have to call before midnight yesterday? Drat. I’ve always had trouble incorporating the ancient instrument of death into modern and realistic game-play. Totally useful, this.

  4. Hey, they brought Colby!!!

  5. “THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OR CHR–Mom! MOOOM???? I just threw the Wiimote w/ motion plus crucifix through the flatscreen again!”

  6. I cant believe it they didn’t show the best game, where’s the one where you use your remote as a hammer to see show many nails you can hit into people’s hands through wood?

  7. I’d rather go on a diet of worms than play this game. #churchjokes

  8. Christ Pointz! Gotta catch ‘em all! Gotta catch ‘em all!

  9. My mom’s website – http://www.hotbot.com, doesn’t really get alot of traffic anymore.

  10. Wii Pray. Rape “jokes”. Charlie Sheen’s 9/11 video contest. Jaycee Dungard porno. Going Rogue goes super platinum. I don’t know about you guys, but I’m exhausted by this week.

  11. The only reason I’d believe that there was a game like this for the Wii is because that they’ve already tried this on the Nintendo with Bible Games.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkNvQYiM6bw

    • Tacky sacrilege and mock catachesis go a bit beyond the pale, even for Captain N. I would maintain that practice censoring is markedly distinct from carrying animals around on your head (Noah) so as to save the animal kingdom from God’s wrath and traipsing around the desert avoiding the roman hordes (Mary and Joseph) so as to save the human kingdom from God’s wrath.

      err….well, maybe not.

    • There’s also a Christian Rock version of Guitar Hero, but I’ll only get it if there’s lots of Faith + 1 on it.

  12. I thought the mom was Amy Poehler for the majority of that video

  13. Weirdest part about this whole post is my mom DOES have a website. A knitting website. Because my whole family is square. And we say things like “square” without any old timey irony.
    ….sigh…..
    I don’t know how many Christ Pointz that’ll earn me though. And that’s what really counts.

  14. They have a very nice home.

  15. Can I burn books too?

  16. Hope they will have it at Jesus Camp. i’m sure those kids would love to trade in their Grace Points to move up 3 pews.

  17. OK I feel really lame because I played Bible Games. There was also Exodus which I owned (it was a gift from my Grandma. Thanks Grandma!) Nothing says Christianity like dropping giant rocks onto your enemies.

    • Damnit, that was supposed to be a reply to whoatom101. See where a childhood spent playing bible-themed video games gets you? Nowhere, that’s where!

  18. Where’s the Jukt Micronics reference?

  19. OK I could believe this was a real thing if it weren’t so obviously Catholic. What kind of Catholic would ever let a girl get anywhere close to having that kind of authority? All swinging the incense burning device, that is for dudes exclusively. Duh, fake Wii praying game.

  20. ALTAR-SERVER STORY TIME! I very nearly burned down my church when, in 6th grade, I overloaded the incense-swingy thingy. It started to smoke uncontrollably and the priest dropped it when the smoke blinded him. The burning coals inside set the carpet on fire, and the firetrucks came. Oh yes, and this was all during someone’s funeral. There aren’t enough Grace Points in the world to keep me from hell after that one.

  21. i challenge anyone to beat me in the incense burning level

  22. link or it never happened

  23. These children are left-handed! Spawn of the devil!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.