Thanks to Gay Men’s Social Crisis, I now know what I was missing by turning down a group field trip to a 4:20 showing of Sex And The City: The Movie on Saturday, besides 2.5 hours of my life. After the jump, three pirated clips shot in the theater and complete with “inappropriate” laughter and “this is retarded” commentary. It kind of makes me wish I did see it, but with these guys. Is a spoiler alert even necessary at this point?

“And just like that: Charlotte Poughkeepsied in her pants.”

The girls judge Carrie’s outfits and help her pack in a Walk This Way changing-room montage. Do not ‘take’:

And the best: Carrie’s truly insane freakout when Big leaves her at the altar. Featuring the soundtrack from United 93:

See Miranda’s face? She knows what she did.