Oh. My. God. You. Guyz. Last night was the Twilight: New Moon premiere in Hollywood, California. Is anyone else’s head falling off, or is it just me over here? HELP! MY HEAD! The only thing that I would like almost as much but not as much as going to prom with a mythological vampire who is in a surf battle with the magical werewolves over the entrance to my human vagina would be to stand for hours in a mass of strangers screaming in my ears and holding up homemade signs that read like cries for help. Just kidding! That sounds like a nightmare! I will stick with just dreaming about make-believe swamp thing prom, or whatever. But here are some of the people who don’t think that is a nightmare, and who in fact think it is very fun and something that is worth doing even if you are an adult. We should all be so lucky as to find something in this world that makes us happy, even if it happens to be this thing!
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I bet from above, this mass of people forms the shape of a giant zero.
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Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
Heh…it’s a fine line between Videogum and Assholegum. And sometimes IT JUST GOT BLURRIER. Amiright?
People taking personal offense to getting downvoted is one of my guilty pleasures on Videogum. My favorite was someone on the Richard Heene neighbor-fight post whose brain basically broke.
Found it:
“Minus me you bastards?! Dont you idiots know who I am?!
My guess is if I got a stupid little obnoxious picture by my comment and said something like if I was a writer wannabe dropout wannabe writer – so as to be in with the falsies chums then all would be ,” so weez coo? right?”
uh huh whatever.
If the puss pack out there on the youtuber field with digital camcorders and still cameras beeping away had any fucktoids in their tool shit brains, they would at least join the nerdrectum force united into supplying us bitches with multiple angles at least. I mean you got all that shit and you glued behind retardation?
uh huh, minus me.
you buttflossers”
Classic.
Can we please replace “downvote” with “Minus me you bastards”. It’s so much more easier to say.
Mike Tyson SOOOOO WISHES he wrote that.
Making fun of “fat people” with comments like, “Look: fat people” isn’t funny, is the thing.
Surf Wars: Riding the Waves of Pleasure.
“stupid lamp” is killing me right now.
I love lamp.
Gabe does too!
I hate myself for knowing this, and also for bursting your bubble, but…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vS3mF03Yu4
“masakistic”
We’ll just pretend like we never saw that. Stupid Lamp forever!
You know, it hadn’t occurred to me that “Stupid Lamp” might not be a relevant thing to put on a Twilight poster. Perhaps there is something to this connection you have pointed out.
dont hate yourself. i actually knew what the sign said, too, but stupid lamp is still making me laugh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsSWJvlojgc
i mean that in the nicest possible way.
All I have to say about this is TRASH. Except for those fierce gay guys. They are the OPPOSITE OF TRASH. <3
no wonder this country can’t decide on things like how not to get into wars and universal healthcare. all of our greatest minds are wasting their brain power on twilight fan posters! come on, cullensicles, you clever minx – get back to saving our country!!! ahhh, cullensicles.
Cullensicles probably taste like 16 year old models and overacting.
I imagine they smell strongly of Abercrombie & Fitch.
Well, both sides have put forth compelling arguments and though I wavered a bit with the introduction of Camp Lamp…I still think I?ll stick with Team Gross.
I saw some interview with Taylor Lautner where he said some forty-year-old mom asked him to sign the underwear she was currently wearing. EW.
reminds me of the time when we were waiting for the olsen twins to turn legal, right guys, am i right? guys??
On my birthday, I could not ask for a funnier post. Thankee, Gabe.
Happy Birthday! Your gift is to choose one of these New Moon fans. You can choose which ever one you want. Personally, I’d go with “Stupid Lamp”. That’s just because I want to watch Jeopardy with someone who doesn’t stand a chance.
Happy Birthday!
As a kid, I blew bubbles.
Different bubbles I think tho, don’t recognize the avatar.
More like, “Ew Moon.” Because ewwwwwwww.
On my Christmas list: Twilight vampires vs. True Blood vampires in a bad-acting vamp-off.
I wonder if that lone, solitary “Team Jasper” fan feels a little silly standing there.
Just kidding. (Of course she doesn’t.)
As we speak, there is a CEO of a poster board company rolling around naked in a huge pile of money. Simultaneously, 50 IHOPs across the midwest had to close for the day as all their waitresses called out sick to go to this premiere. HA! Economics!
and that girl’s hat is almost as cool as her katy perrry-derived t shirt
Girl in hat should not be so coincidentally attractive, but sometimes you have to feign interest or surrender to whatever your boyfriend’s into because Stockholm Syndrome.
girls want to cut themselves in front of ‘jasper’? what happened to the good old days when girls just hung up pictures from their teen beat magazine on the walls of their bedroom?
“Team Rob because Rob is more than just Edward!” #barf
I also love the Uncomfortable Dracula Pattinson sign. It’s got personality! An uncomfortable personality!
Why do they all have to be on different teams? I think they should all be on “Team I Should Include Less Money In My Family’s Budget For Glitter and Puffy Paints”
I see a flaw in one of those signs (the others are just ‘PERFECT’). The one that says something like: I like the Cullens Diet… eat me. Isn’t that the point in the movie? They don’t ‘eat’ people.. just animals.. So besides failing in live, they fail at making proper twilight references.
I think they’re wearing antlers.
Ah, well, that makes a lot more sense! But I didn’t know deers could write..
Explanation of the gif: A girl made a fan-fic Youtube starring herself with a life-size cardboard cutout of Edward Cullen as her love interest. Unironically. She got embarrassed and took the video down, but fortunately the gif remains!
Omigod that’s awful. Some therapist is going to make a stack of coin off this poor girl.
Lots and lots of love
oh man this has a new home in my nightmares.
weird
Did you all know that Robert Pattinson stated in an interview that he would prefer the nickname “Spunk Ransom”? Because I did not know that until this last weekend (when I was reading up on ALL the latest Twilight news), and it is TBS Very Funny. Spunk Ransom! Ha.
People came from Tijuana to see this? What, they put “New Moon premier” on the visa application and the INS was just like, “Oh, well then, let’s forgo the extremely long, complicated, and expensive vetting process for Mexican citizens to even get a visa to come visit this country and just let them go stalk Rob Pattinson.” ????
And yet, I still see less grammatical errors than a tea party rally….
FEWER grammatical errors.
Sorry. Had to. The power of irony compelled me.
But I applaud your intent.
fuck
anyone else notice the beefcake with the CAME FROM VANCOUVER – TEAM JACOB sign?
Since I have a perhaps-misguided tendency to idealize Canada, I’m going to assume they’re from Vancouver, Washington.
I noticed that, too! At first I thought he might just be holding is wife’s Twilight sign while she was in the bathroom, but then I realized that A) people don’t do that and B) he looks so proud of it.
Maybe he’s Jacob’s dad and or teacher and just came out to support the team, not knowing that in this case “team” is short for “want to f…”
Look at me!
The only honest sign among the bunch.
i’m sorry, but did you miss that on #13? “Jesus saw KStews bitchface on His grilled cheese”
Wait, so they hate KStew enough to call her a bitchface? But then they idolize her enough to see her in grilled cheeses? WHATHUH?
also! the Baberaham Lincoln is a Wayne’s World joke! you can’t like Twilight AND Wayne’s World, right? i can’t have something in common with these people
No, don’t worry; I think Baberaham Lincoln has become part of our pop culture vernacular, so probably that person doesn’t understand the allusion. At least that is what I am fervently hoping.
I feel bad for the girl. Given a chance, all those fans would rip her apart to take her place. No one is rooting for her.
Also, I saw way too many people over 20…
If this is what it means to be lucky, you can just call me Job. Amirite??
“Team Jacob from Vancouver is my name, underage girls are my game.”
If our president’s name was Baberaham Lincoln and his credentials were simply that he was a vampire actor… we would have trouble. Our foreign reputation would suffer. And more broadly, I bet Babe would struggle with moving forward any sort of coherent agenda.
Thank you for the warning, dear Twilight fan
Which foreign born actor is likely to become president first: Arnie or Rob Rob?
Where was 3good 3be 6gotten?!?!!?
And why isn’t it 3good 3be 5gotten. I mean we start by adding one for the first two and then jump to adding two. Sorry to go all math tutor, but this has been bugging me.
I believe it’s “2 + 2 = 4″ is replaced by “3 + 3 = 6″
I want to be comforted that the RNs are at least hot for someone of age, but alas, I am still traumatized.
Twilight is, um, an awful thing, is what it is.
Is Lindsey in any of those photos? My theory (and hope) is that everyone there is on some kind of elaborate Double Dog. Lindsey? Linnnddsseeeyyyyyyyy?
So many people rip on this yet its so successful???
STUPID “LAMP” SOLVED:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vS3mF03Yu4
It’s “stupid lamb” ya’ll.
And Ive never seen the movie, I just know how to pwn the internet.
twilight is the best