Kick-Ass teaser trailer, you guys:

Look, nerds, I’m sorry. Everyone pretty much hates you guys. There has certainly been a wave of pro-nerd sentiment over the past few years, but the world stands pretty much unchanged. It’s going to be jocks vs. nerds until the end of time (2012). “But we’ve got Bill Gates, the richest man in the world.” Sure. Is Bill Gates going to charge his foundation with the task of inventing a noogie deflection shield to protect all of you? No. Bill Gates is just one man, and even he is probably still constantly mocked for being such a huge nerd by his wife, and his dogs, and his solid-gold helicopter. The reality is that no matter how much Hollywood’s Jews (nerds) write scripts in which the Seth Cohens and the Dan Humphreys and the Brian Johnsons of the world become the sexually-desirable heroes, back in the real world, people want to shove nerds into lockers. Always. If anything, pro-nerd movies and TV shows are like nerd kryptonite, because it gives the nerds too much confidence and they let their nerd guard down. Keep those nerd hands up! Protect the meat!

Anyway, this movie looks pretty good.

Comments (45)
  1. The President is a NERD. Nerds win. SHUT IT DOWN THIS DISCUSSION IS OVER.

  2. I see no trailer!.. I want to see nerds, GIVE me nerds!!

  3. This trailer is missing something… Images or sound chiefly… But I like it!

  4. I had to watch the trailer on mute because my jock boss is on the other side of the wall, listening to Journey.

  5. This is the only case in which I approve of the casting of Nicolas Cage. I think his ridiculous style of overacting will only serve this movie well.

  6. Nerds aren’t cool? Thanks for ruining my dreams.

  7. Geoffrey Arend marrying Christina Hendricks, a woman whose body is basically an amusement park, is proof that nerds Kick-Ass!

  8. Gabe, this is another beautifully-written post. Seems to really come from the heart. Is there something you want to share with the group?

  9. Gabe, I think the popularity of this site has caused you to put YOUR Nerd guard down… Embrace it my friend, You can’t even palm a football.

  10. Aaron Johnson is 19, he is engaged to a 42 year-old. Forget it Aaron, it’s Cougartown.

  11. “Bad Reputation” = (officially) geek anthem. Who woulda thought…

  12. I think the word “nerd” is used way too often as a falsely modest defense. How many famous and beautiful actresses are all, “Oh yeah, in high school I was totes a nerd”? A lot, is how many. But really. How many REAL nerds (not theater geeks) would try out for the school play? Famous and beautiful people who claim they had a “nerd” phase are probably only referencing a time in their lives when they weren’t quite AS beautiful, aka, puberty.

    Just out of curiosity, how many of you monsters classify/have classified yourselves as nerds?

    • I think to real nerd, there are many different types of nerds (a nerd has the time to analyze and classify nerds becasue he/she is a nerd and they have spare time and an analytic mind; ie, they are nerds about nerdom itself); however, to the person doing the shoving into the locker, the subtle distinctions fall away and IT’S CLOBBERING TIME.

      I was a nerd, but not by choice. I dressed weird and was overweight! :(

    • I never really classified myself as a nerd in high school; just a loser. A plain old loser.

    • In high school one of the biggest nerds (annual Halloween costume: Star Trek: TNG uniform) auditioned for the school play senior year because he had a crush on a cheerleader who was trying out. He was cast as one of the leads and was somehow catapulted into high school stardom — all the popular girls decided he was adorable, sang songs about him in the hallways, and elected him prom king (not even ironically!) It was seriously some weirdo high school movie shit. Meanwhile I, a girl nerd who had tried out unsuccessfully for ten or twelve shows and been friendly with the guy for years, painted sets in obscurity once again.

  13. When I was 7 years old we had a day in school where we were suppose to tell each other what it was we wanted to be when we grew up. My friends all said firefighter or doctor or policeman, my girlfriend at the time said she wanted to be a veterinarian (I got so much tail in 1st grade). When my teacher asked me “Nowak Attack, what do you want to be when you grow up?” I boldly responded “I want to be a superhero.” Everyone laughed and I was so confused why no one took me seriously.
    I’m now working as a graveyard shift security guard and barely on track to get my degree in two years in communication. I think I showed them.

  14. This looks good and all but, seriously, MySpace video? Is that still a thing? I’m surprised I didn’t have shovel coal into my computer to get the video to play.

  15. Not out myself as a nerd or anything (don’t ask, don’t tell), but this look pretty cool as it is like a panel for panel recreation of the comic book. That’s why they still use the outdated myspace video reference. Go Mark Millar!

    • The MySpace video thing is a reference to the comic book? Like was the trailer posted on MySpace in the comic book? Holy shit, how dense is this thing? Is this Videogum post in the comic book? Is my comment? HOLY SHIT MY MIND IS GETTING BLOWN. Oh, wait, nerds, I’m sorry I meant Graphic Novel. I’m supposed to say Graphic Novel right?

      • I don’t think the video being posted on myspace is actually a reference to this, but in the comic Kick-Ass has a myspace page where people can ask him for help.

  16. *Pushes up thick-framed glasses with right index finger* This looks like an excellent representation of the comic book.

  17. I didn’t know they were making Mystery Men 2. Somebody call Paul Reubens and Kel Mitchell

  18. (Nerd alert!) I haven’t been hugely impressed with the comic but I’ve thought the movie looks pretty entertaining so far. That being said, this trailer is horribly edited and kind of unrepresentative of the comic, which is not so much a fun nerd fantasy. The first time Kick-Ass tries to stop a crime he gets beaten, stabbed, and thrown in front of a speeding car. And the little girl disembowels people with samurai swords. Whoo, violence!

  19. Let’s say I illegally downloaded a series of fantasy books about magic and sword fighting, and then used some code to convert them from unreadable .lit files to .html files, and then stayed up all night reading them cause I can get through a chapter faster reading it in bed on my laptop then I can with the actual book. Would that make me a nerd?

    • ooh, which fantasy series?

      i’m not a nerd but i have basically level 12 in nerd/geek lore and i LOVE dragon/magic/sword books! what’s your favorite series?

  20. I don’t consider myself a nerd – I was a cheerleader and a mathlete / drama geek! BUT… I do love comic books. And I have to say that I’ve been looking forward to this movie for a year now and this teaser trailer looks AHHHHMAZING!

  21. No it doesn’t

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